True Love? Who Knew...

Part 3

I barely passed 11th grade.

I barely was living.

I was turning into skin in bones.

I now only weighed 98 pounds. I did drop to 87 but my mom forced me to eat. I did because I didn't want her to bet medical help. I couldn't, No Wouldn't be able to deal with that shit.

I was dying inside. I hadn't talked to him in 3 years. I was turning 18 this year, he would be 21 soon. I missed him so much but I couldn't do anything about it.

As 12th grade passed, I was soon to graduate. I tried harder this year with my grades just so I could graduate and leave this place.

I was finally 18 and considered an adult.  I was free to do whatever I wanted.

It was only a couple days before Graduation when I realized that graduation was pointless. Im slowly dying so why dose it matter that I graduate? But I had to. I had to do it for my mom. She deserved it. She deserved to be proud of me for something. That's the least I could give her.

When showed up my old friends ran to me faster than can be. I was so confused. I had half a bottle of wine earlier so when they rushed to me it seemed like they where going to tackle me. And when they talked oh god! It was like a million freaking words a minute. I couldn't here them correctly. They where all taking at once.

I told them to shut up and speak slowly. They seemed so happy and excited. I envied that. I wanted to be happy instead I was pissed at everything. Especially about the bottle of water in my hand that my mom made me take. That water bottle soon was falling out of my hands as I heard what they had been trying to tell me. It wasn't the only thing either. I began to fall. I slammed to the ground with a loud thud.

He was here. He- he was here. No he cant be. I cant see him. I wont be able to handle it. No. I cant.

My eyes where wide as I laid there on the floor. My old friends where trying to get me up but I was to weak. I felt like I was dying. If I see him I wont be able to do this.

I had looked up at the people around me. Remembering how we all hung out once, but now I was the outcast the loner. The one they where ashamed of. God I was ashamed of me.

I had to do this. For my mom. She is all I have left.

I began to get up. I nodded to the girls I used to know and walked away. I walked out of the gym and down the school hallways to the bathroom I stashed some liquor in. I needed this to get me through the night. To numb the pain.  

I finished the bottle and put it back in the brick wall. I had looked in the mirror only to see the ugliest person ever.

Well so much for loving my body.

I had turned to leave making my way back to the gym.