The One (A Selection Fan Fiction)

Chapter Four

“THAT IS OUR PLANET'S NEIGHBOR planet: Mars.” He pointed at the brightest star in the dark yet starry sky.

We were lying on our backs, on a blanket, beside each other. I turned to my right, gazing at Maxon’s face. The moon was shining like a spotlight on us. I smiled, taking in the beautiful outline of his face. I saw his eyes that was staring up start to lower. I kept staring until he turned towards me, and stared at me, too.

Then all of a sudden, my emotions flooded me over, welling up tears in my eyes. I broke the stare, furiously blinking the tears away. But unfortunately, they just ended up rolling down my cheek.

I bit my lower lip to keep it from trembling, and I kept my eyes low, feeling Maxon’s gaze on me. “Shh…” I felt a warm hand on my check, wiping my tears.

“I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry, Maxon,” I croaked. He pulled me closer, leaving no space between us. I hugged back, still crying.

I pulled away a few moments later, when my breathing slowed down. Again, we stared at each other. “Maxon,” I whispered. “I’m sorry for all the wrong things I have done. I’m sorry for blaming you on everything. I’m sorry for being so dependent on you, for acting crudely when I don’t agree with you. And — and I’m sorry for losing your trust. I know trust is important, and I’ve been so lousy and careless with it. “

“America,” Maxon started but I cut him off. “No, Maxon, don’t tell me I was wrong because I am lousy. I am not princess material, let alone queen material. And now I’m being wholly open with you not because you told me to; but because I trust you and I need you. The time you have given me is up — and I must have made my decision by now. And I have.” I breathed in a deep breath before continuing. “I’ll fight, Maxon, not for the crown, but for your heart, your family’s and the citizens of Illéa. Yes, I’m the least wanted of all because I was a Five; because I am a nobody and —“

“You, America, are not a nobody.” Maxon’s voice was firm and stern. He held my chin so I would look at him and meet his eyes.  “I do not care for what others think about the lady that I will be choosing to marry. As you had said, you believed that I will not eliminate because of the castes.”

“I still do.”

“I know you do. Don’t stop believing, America, because I believe in you.”

I closed my eyes; a smile on my lips probably be visible.

Soft lips fell on mine and everything felt right and we lost track of time. What he gave was passionate but careful; like our first — I mean, second — kiss. His touch was a carress, as if he was afraid enough to think I was fragile that a simple wrong move could break me.

***

Dear America,

So how are you, Ames? We all miss you! I am wearing the dress that I have gotten from the halloween party, this moment, while I am writing. Mom made sure it stays beautiful, and she is doing a good job on it.

How are you and Maxon? I mean, Prince Maxon, I'm sorry for that.

Anyway, some people in town are visiting us sometimes, congratulating the family about you still being there. We are all enthusiastic when we heard your philantropy presentation — about the elimination of the castes. Well, not really all of us but most of us. You know, the Four and below.

I still can't believe you have survived from thirty-five to four!

But, we all have heard rumours spreading around that Kriss is the prince's new favorite; not you anymore. And that she will be the bride.

So my reaction to that: I would be screaming 'No!' every time I remember the said rumours.

So win his love! We believe in you.

And write soon.

We love you, on behalf of Mom, Dad and Gerad.

-May

P.S. You'd rather be married to a Six, Seven or Eight rather than the mayor's kid. He is NOT so uhm... pleasant when it comes to personality.

I laughed at May's letter. Aspen had given the envelope to me when Maxon dropped me off for bed. When Maxon left my room after giving me my goodnight kiss, Aspen didn't even try talking to me. And I was grateful enough for that.

Choosing between Maxon and Aspen was too hard. But I had made my decision to be distant from Aspen by the time he stepped in my room for his goodbye when I was about to leave the palace. And I decided to keep it that way. I wanted to make things easier than choosing. Besides, I had already made up my mind and confessed to Maxon.

I wasn't sure, but I think Maxon is now experiencing what I had experienced — choosing between the two of who you love more. If I had asked myself 'Aspen or Maxon', he's probably thinking 'Kriss or America?'

And that is just so hard. It's like choosing between Mom and Dad - weighing who you love more when you love them as much as you love the other.

I sighed heavily. I had managed to change my dress into my nightgown, half-conscious. I lie on my bed, taking a pillow and hugging it close to my chest. I fall asleep to the loud thoughts of my unquiet mind, too tired to think and analyze what they were about.