The One (A Selection Fan Fiction)

Chapter Twenty

Note:

Hey, everyone! Sorry for the long wait! I feel bad for making all of you guys wait. But I think it was worth it. I have no subject in my summative exams that are below average.

I think I excel in Math. Because I have 88 on Geometry on my card and 90 on Trigonometry. And on the NCAE (National Career Assessment Examination), I got 99+ on Math. Only 99 on Science and 98 on Reading Comprehension. And others are Either Above Average or Low Average (some are Average).

Sadly, I have Creativity in Average, Business and Trading, and Decision Making in Low Average. No wonder how I just can't decide easily.

ANYWAY, I think you might have been bored on that. You probably didn't even care anyway.

So I WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THIS NOW BEFORE YOU READ THE NOTE AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER.

You were lost, and was walking all alone. The place was deserted. You came to a stop when you see two roads in front of you. One was called Pleasure and the other was called Virtue.

Which road would you choose?

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Chapter Twenty

I BIT MY BOTTOM LIP as I studied Maxon's anxious face. This was the man I was about to break; right after I had just broken the other that was in the same room.

I couldn't back out now. This was the time to let it out; let it go, let the truth spill. The consequences of the wrongs I have done - I deserve it all.

It was my fault.

My fault why we three were in the same room, the truth spilled out like tar; black and sticky and disgusting.

My fault why those green eyes that were staring at me had been in tears, and now those brown eyes would be the next to do so.

I couldn't do it; couldn't betray Aspen, couldn't hurt Maxon.

But I had to.

Or this guilt in me would never stop bothering me. I don't think I could live with this truth unshred and hidden.

But I had kept this secret for a long time. And not even my favorite person in the world, May, had known this.

But maybe all secrets will always be discovered. There will always be a time for them to be discovered.

Was what I was about to do right? Was it the time already? Why had I even bothered to try telling him when I'd just be cowering out?

"Damn it, America! Just tell me already!"

I flinched from my spot, gasping, only then realizing that I had been staring at him. "I'm sorry," I mumbled, blinking back to the never-anticipating reality as I looked down on the floor.

"How dare you call yourself a gentleman?" Aspen was pointing an accusing finger at Maxon, both their faces seeming aggressive. I hadn't even noticed that Aspen was only inches away from Maxon until I looked up again when I heard Aspen's fierce voice.

I stared at both of them, dumbfounded by the fact that these were two men fighting for one girl. Maxon grimaced, and I wasn't sure why.

"I'm sorry, America," he whispered.

Aspen scoffed as he stood straight, putting distance between him and the prince. "And now you apologize to her?" He looked as if he was disgusted of what he was looking at. He shook his head. "You must be crazy."

"Who are calling 'crazy', soldier?"

The other man snickered. "You yourself had said it already that not a single word about this conversation will escape this room. We might as well neglect our labels for now. For the sake of our argument."

Maxon was silent.

The prince pursed his lips, turning to me. "Just tell me what it is already," Maxon said, running a hand through his hair, obviously frustrated.

For the first time in what seemed like a long time, I finally spoke. I willed myself to be brave, and my voice not to quiver. I avoided all their gazes the whole time. "Aspen and I had our secret meetings. We became the same old us we used to be. We sneaked around, being risky. We only learned from Marlee and Carter. But we didn't stop. That caning was both a lesson and a warning. We should've stopped. But we didn't; we couldn't. But it also taught us to be more careful and smart."

I stopped. The guilt that had been building up inside me was starting to kill me by then.

Maxon stared at nothing, tears forming in his eyes. "How could you?" The way his voice cracked made me want to bury myself alive.

He was right. How could I?

"Why?" Maxon asked, turning to me.

"I'm sorry," I said, desperate for forgiveness. I had messed everything up. And I didn't even know how to fix it.

"Why?" Maxon repeated, his glare cold and hard as a stone. "Why would you?"

I sighed, thinking back to Marlee and Carter. Quietly, I voice my thoughts half-consciously. "You cannot stop someone in love from being maudlin."

Maxon whimpered. "Do you know how much this breaks me?" He fell down on my bed, and the tears silently fell.

I bit my bottom lip again, full of anxiety. "Have you really put your guard down for me?"

Maxon let out a noise between a cry and a laugh. "Since week one!" He threw his arms in the air as he exclaimed, his brown eyes staring up and he let his arms fall on his side.

I could only watch him.

He looked so hopeless and heart-broken. And I was the cause. But I still wanted to fix it, put him altogether again. Make him whole like before I even came into his life.

I wanted to say I was sorry. But that wouldn't be enough to take back my mistakes.

I didn't deserve him.

Not after everything he had risked for me.

Swallowing down the guilt, I averted my eyes to Maxon's face. No matter how many times I would try to push the guilt in me, it would still bubble up, making me want to retch and cry.

It truly hurt me to say it, but maybe it was for the best. All I did was cause chaos and not help on anything.

I knew I was a burden. But I was so desperate for Maxon that I kept on pushing that thought away.

But now I accept it. I won't deny it. If I was a burden, then there's only one solution to halt this chaos I had started.

"Then send me home."

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Note:

Wahaha!! I'm such a sadist. So Tammy has talked to the guy I like! ;) Yay! It was funny how we were random at the group conversation on Viber.

This chapter is dedicated to @12AMGIRL because she greeted Tammy when I told everyone to do so because it was Tamz's birthday on Feb 10. And I just found out lately. Still, she was the only one who wished my bestie so for that, this chapter has been dedicated!

So, about that question up there...

I would have chosen Pleasure, I'd say. Our Values teacher asked us this question before he shared his answer. Almost everyone (except me) said they would choose Virtue. I mean, who wouldn't? They were talking to a teacher. They apparently would choose fun more than studying.

And when he asked me, I said I'd take Pleasure. Because it's not about what is on the other end. I think it's about the journey.

Because one way or another, in life, the challenge is the journey.

Just because you have chosen Pleasure doesn't mean you can't learn what one can learn in the other road. We will always make mistakes and we will always learn no matter which road we take.

BUT IF YOU HAVE CHOSEN VIRTUE, I can't blame you. It's not a wrong answer. That up there was only my opinion. I'm sure you have your own reasons.

So please don't be offended. I was only curious which would you take.

Thank you for reading!

NEXT UPDATE: Next week. :) [[Sorry! I'm busy for the whole week! Even weekends. :( ]]