Beautiful Scars

Frightening Reality

She turned the bedroom light off, backing out of the room when suddenly her foot caught on something behind her and she stumbled back. She was able to catch herself before she fell, but still glared down at the open suitcase that had caused her to trip. It was overflowing with Louis' clothes. Before walking away, Ally realized that this was something she could actually use. Crouching down to examine the contents, she pulled out the smallest t-shirt she could find and a pair of boxers shorts. He won't mind, she thought.

She took the clothes and entered the bathroom. Quietly humming to herself, she picked up a brush and began running it through her waves. Her hair was an absolute mess, completely tangled and coated in dirt. She worked out the tangles, getting more and more frustrated and yanking harder and harder, until she accidentally hit herself with the brush, directly smacking the cut on her cheek. Pain tore through her, causing her to drop the brush and clutch her head. She did not call out, but the brush smacked the ground with a sound loud enough to shake her. She froze; hand on her face, breathing deeply. Suddenly, the silence in the room seemed eerie. Everything felt so empty and lifeless compared to her frightened, shaking body. She felt extremely alone.

She was in a hotel she had never been in before. In a city she had rarely visited. Even the boy, even Louis, she had only truly met today.  Her cousin seemed so far. For a second, her thoughts flashed to her family and her home in New Jersey. Extreme longing came over her, longing for something familiar.

Unsettled, Ally gave up fixing her hair and stripped off her clothes. The simple actions of lifting her arms and legs made the night’s events seem even more real. It had all seemed like some terrible nightmare, and here, with Louis, was a dream. But the soreness in her body made her realize how incredibly real it was. She looked down at her naked self and forced back a cringe. She had been so worried about Louis and doing things right, she only realized now that Louis had been telling the truth, she was not worrying enough about herself. There was bruising around her upper arms, exactly the way hands would have held her. Her chest too, had bruises and scratches. Her knees and elbows were scraped, trailing blood down her legs and arms.

She picked up her jeans and for the first time, bothered to notice the holes in the knees. Her shirt was also torn around the chest. They were destroyed. For an inexplicable reason, this simple act horrified her. Seeing the damage done in a physical matter made her wonder what damage had been done to her mentally. Taking a wash cloth, she cleaned her face and body as best she could. Each time she made contact with herself, tiny shots of pain went through her. She ignored it, welcoming the physical pain compared to the nervous fear that was overcoming her. She picked up her bra and underwear, thanking God they remained in decent shape. She put them on along with Louis' black shirt and red boxers.

A floorboard creaked outside the door. Ally's heart began to race, her adrenaline pumping. She tried to tell herself it was just the floor, no one was out there. But her heart would not let her believe it. She would never take safety for granted again. She grabbed her clothes from the floor and left the bathroom in a hurry.

The adjourning rooms were blanketed in darkness. Her hear racing, she tossed the filthy clothes on what she hoped to be the couch and then hurried into the bedroom. She tried to calm down, but nothing stopped her rushing adrenaline as she, following the crack of light the bathroom provided, slid into the bed next to Louis. She tried to be as quiet as she could. She was not scared enough to consider waking Louis a good decision. Under the covers, she took a deep, shuddering breath, and closed her eyes.

Instead of being greeted by the warm, empty darkness that usually comes with the stages of sleep, her closed eyes met visions so clear, Ally would have sworn they were happening to her right in that moment. Hands gripping her arms, nails biting in. Hips grinding against her own. A leering face, a deranged laugh. Ally lurched forward, sitting up in the bed.

The images faded. She was back in the dark hotel room.

Her heart was racing. If anything was real, it was the fear that rested inside her. She had been so concerned with other matters that it was not until now that she admitted to herself how terrified she was. Nothing like this had ever happened to her. She had never come anywhere near death. And tonight, she looked it right in the face. She took a shuttering breath, but it did nothing to settle her nerves. Despite her body's exhaustion, she would get no sleep tonight. Her mind would not let her have that escape.

And then, Ally heard something move. She froze, her heart catching in her throat. But, she realized it was only Louis. She turned her head to see him sitting up on his elbows. His green eyes glowed in the darkness. He reached out one arm and drew it around her shoulders, pulling her to him. She lay down, sheltered in the crook of his shoulder with his arm still around her. "We'll be okay," he whispered. And with those words, Ally knew that tonight, they had both suffered in incredible amounts. But, the night was nearly over; they had made it through and they were together.

Safe in his arms, Ally felt her eyes droop slowly closed. For the first time that night, her mind wandered from the present time. Her heart settled into a familiar, steady beating. Her tensed limbs relaxed. Her nerves settled. Exhaustion pulled on her, refusing to release its hold. But Ally greeted it with open arms. Slowly, she drifted into blissful unconsciousness.