And Then She Stopped

chapter nine

The next day Maya woke up with a smile smeared across her face, besides the fact that she could never be with Lucas, life was unexplainably perfect. She had her best friend, the guy who she wanted to be her boyfriend and her ... Farkle. While getting ready for the day she danced around the apartment a little, humming and swaying here and there, twirling through the door frames. Katy wasn't home yet, she hasn't been getting home much at all lately. She usually stayed up all night and then left for work in the morning, repeating the cycle and never seeing Maya. For the first time in a while though, Maya had hope. Topanga gave Katy the day off today so there was a good chance that she would be home when Maya came home from school.

Maya opened the drawer and shuffled past the letters to grab a new notebook. Today she was going to take real notes and try her best to learn and be the best version of Maya that she could be. She ran the whole way to Riley's, letting her feet beat against the ground with every step, crashing down, practically screaming to her – You're here! You're grounded! You're awake!

Maya sprinted up the fire escape, but when she went to get into Riley's room she crashed into glass. The window was closed. Riley was sitting in her bed looking straight at Maya through the window. She was fully dressed and sitting up straight with her legs crossed and hands folded.

Maya laughed, "Riles let me in!" She made a fake pouty face and then smiled again. Riley simply got off her bed, grabbed her bag, looked over her shoulder once more at Maya, and then walked out the door. Maya shrugged it off and went to wait for Riley by the front door, but after a few hours passed and Riley never came out Maya assumed she took a different way out of the building and wasn't going to be thrilled if Maya showed up at school. So Maya stood up, brushed off her pants, and walked home.

Getting back to the neighborhood when everyone was awake and the sun was shining wasn't as terrifying, anyone who was possibly a threat to you was inside with the lights off trying to cure a hangover. Maya pushed through the doors to her building and took a chance with the elevator – success. When she opened the door to the apartment her mom was sitting on the counter with coffee in her hands and her head hung low.

"Hey mom, I'm home." Maya said placing the notebook on the table, Katy burped and smiled at Maya.

"Hey sweetheart." She pushed herself up from the counter and stumbled her way over to Maya, falling into her arms. There was a bottle of beer on the credenza, and on the floor by the couch. Maya led her mom to her room and practically threw her onto the bed before tossing a blanket on top of her, just as always the minute Katy was laying down she was out. Maya made her way back to the living room, sat on the couch and picked up the beer by the couch, finishing it off.

Maya moved from sitting on the couch, to laying on it. She was staring up at the ceiling, feeling as though she were drifting away. She held her hands above her in the air, letting the feeling of all the blood rushing away come, until her fingers were numb and she let her arms drop. Her mind wanders to dark places, places where time and space don't exist. It was as though she could close her eyes, and she wouldn't know if or when she'd wake up.

At school Riley was obviously, not alarmed when Maya never showed up. Lucas leaned over to Farkle and whispered, "Did they have a fight?" Looking at Riley, because Maya promised him she'd always show up unless it would hurt her, and If they didn't have a fight Lucas was ready to break out of school and find her. Farkle shrugged. Zay leaned forward, of course he was listening to their conversation – Zay is always listening.

"What if she's sick? I know if I were sick I wouldn't wanna come to school, especially if I thrown'd up in your backpack before." Zay said, confusing both Lucas and Farkle as they looked back to realize that he had been listening.

"He's probably not wrong, Lucas, the last time Maya wasn't at school – oh." Farkle slumped back in his chair, Riley turned around and smiled at all of them.

"Maya is just being Maya, Lucas you've only known her for a few years, she does this stuff. She comes and she goes as it suits her. It's better for all of us really. People like Maya don't stick around and you need to realize that. She's a flake."

Lucas ignored Riley, "You're probably right Zay, she's just home sick."

Farkle furrowed his eyebrows together, for the first time in his life not paying attention in class. He'd thought he'd done the right thing by telling Riley, but he completely forgot to take Maya into account. He raised his hand during the last few minutes of class.

"Mr. Matthews, is it possible to fall out-of-love with something?" Being a man of science he relied on Cory to answer all his questions about the heart and emotions.

"Let me answer your question with a question, is it possible that your perspectives might have changed?"

"No, Mr. Matthews." Farkle looked at his hands, he still thought Maya was more level-headed than all of them, that she had better perspective, so why was it that he no longer smiled at the thought of marrying her?

"Well Farkle," Mr. Matthews said walking over to his desk, "Perhaps it's possible that you still love something, but you just love something else more."

The bell rang and once again everyone went their separate ways. Farkle was more confused than he'd ever been in his life, he was a genius at anything textbook – but he was just as lost as everyone else when it came to emotion. Farkle watched as Riley stole glances at Lucas while he was at his locker, she still liked him. It was obvious, but now that Farkle was watching Riley watching him – he noticed how Lucas was never watching Riley. He always kept his eyes focused straight ahead.

Gym class was always a horrible time of day for Farkle, he had the class with Lucas and the rest of Lucas's athletic friends. Farkle didn't exactly fill out the gym t-shirt, which made tugging and pulling at the already loose sleeves of the shirt an easy target. Of course whenever Lucas noticed something going on where Farkle was getting teased in any way he stepped in, but Lucas wasn't paying attention all the time. Gym class was filled with stereotypical days, everything from rope climbs to dodgeball tournaments. Today was basketball. This was a good thing for Farkle because all he had to do was stay away from the hoop.

He stood away from the hoop, his head down and thinking. In a perfect Farkle world Maya would come to school every day and Farkle wouldn't be so confused at whether or not he truly loves both girls equally. Eventually you have to choose between night and day, you can't stay awake forever. At the end of class Lucas walked over to him.

"I know you hate gym class, but man, you were really out of it today." Lucas said, nudging him as they walked back into the locker rooms.

"Hey Lucas? What would you do if I told you I liked Riley more than Maya."

"I would tell you to go for it with Riley, but don't like her more than Maya. Love them equally- just in different ways." He pulled off his gym shirt and changed into his classic blue t-shirt. Farkle opted for a black hoodie and some blue jeans, the most comfortable clothes in the world and yet he was so very uncomfortable. Farkle liked knowing everything, he was a genius, he knew the answer to every question before it was asked, but in situations pertaining to growing up – he was clueless, and this terrified him the most.