And Then She Stopped

chapter twenty-one

Sun streamed into Riley Matthews bedroom as she stretched out her arms after waking up in the morning. They were nearing the end of January, which was Riley's favorite time of the year. Things were warming up just enough that the melting snow glistened in the sunlight but not enough that everything melted away. She loved how snow settled on top of everything and how it made the entire city look like it was under the same Instagram filter. The perfect seasonal aesthetic. Regardless of how much she loved the season, however, waking up was never a simple task. She sat up and hunched over her phone, scrolling through her new messages. One new text from Maya and a few from Farkle and Lucas in their 'core four' group chat. Her message from Maya was the same one it was every other Saturday,

M: I'm okay Riles. Love you

There was something slightly cryptic about receiving the same message every week, and Riley used to respond with long essays about how Maya should come back home, but she'd given up. At least Maya was telling her that she was okay this time so Riley wasn't worried every day that Maya didn't come through her window. And just like it always did a few weeks after Maya disappeared the hysteria slowed down. No one at school seemed to even notice her seat was empty anymore.

Riley pulled herself out of bed and stood in front of her dressing table, looking at her reflection. She tried a smile, and then a bigger one, and then she smiled even larger than she thought possible because seeing other people happy made her happy – even when it was only herself. Then, she ran through their routine all by herself.

"Good morning sunshine, the day isn't waiting for you to start!" She spoke in a sing-song-y voice and kept changing her stance so it felt like she was having a conversation with someone other than herself. "Peaches." She cooed, making her heart feel like it was being ripped apart. Still, she smiled on and remembered Maya's text, she's okay. She loves me.

Riley stood in front of her open closest and rubbed her eyes, she had to meet up with her friends at Topanga's in twenty minutes for a late breakfast / early lunch and she had no idea what she was going to wear. She ran her fingers along the tops of her hangers and imagined what Maya would say to her.

"You don't know what to wear? Have too many clothes do you? Hate to break it to you sunshine but that's not a bad problem to have." She would say as she reached into Riley's closet and pulled out the perfect outfit for her to wear. Riley smiled to herself and closed her eyes, reaching into her closet and pulling out the first two things she put her hands on. It was always difficult without Maya around, but they all got by. Riley had pulled out a lemon yellow summer dress and a long sleeve white t-shirt, she shrugged and put them both on. She was trying to be more spontaneous – at least for as long as Maya wasn't around. It all worked out because she'd talk herself out of whatever impulsive thing she was going to do, just like she'd do for Maya. So, as she neared the front door she turned on her heel and changed into her black suspender skirt and light lilac floral sweater and the left to meet up with her friends.

Riley stood outside of the café for a minute, Lucas and Farkle were sitting inside, looking like there wasn't a thing wrong in the world. It was always hardest on Riley when Maya left, she would laugh and smile along with her friends but she'd feel guilty immediately afterwards. But here they were, Lucas and Farkle, joking around and having a good time without Riley or Maya. At first you could see it, the way Lucas' face would fade out of a smile until he was looking off into the distance – imagining Maya's laugh or her snarky comments. After a few weeks though that stopped, he would laugh and still smile to himself an hour later just thinking about the joke. Riley wanted to ask him how he did it, how he moved on, but she knew that deep down he didn't. None of them. They were all just putting on a show until Maya came back.

Riley brushed her hair behind her ears and pushed through the doors, a small bell ringing as the door opened. Farkle turned his head and smiled, standing to greet his girlfriend with a kiss on the check.

"Hey Riles!" He leaned in and kissed her cheek, hesitating in front of her lips but pulling away, "We're glad you could make it!"