Stay (Lucaya)

5

•Maya•

"I hate you Lucas Friar." 

I said I hated him. Why did I say that? Why? Shit. I smacked my head off the wall over and over again before sliding down the door. This whole day was a joke. My life was a joke.  

I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt so low. I didn't think it was possible to be this unhappy. I didn't know if I wanted to be in bed or in the shower or outside. I didn't know if I wanted to sit down or stand up. I felt so out of place in my own bedroom. In my own life. 

I needed to leave. I packed a few things in a bag and wrote a quick note for my mom. 

I needed to leave. I promise I'll be safe.

I love you, Maya x

I quietly shut the door behind me and left the house. I didn't know where to go or what to do, I just knew I couldn't be trapped here with my thoughts. I'd go insane. 

I walked until I could walk no further. I jumped on the next subway upstate and rode it to the end of the line. I hopped out and walked until I could find a shop window to sleep under. It wasn't ideal but it was late and I was too tired to go any further.  I sat down and took out my blanket that I'd packed and wrapped it around me. 

I had almost started to drift off when someone tapped me on my shoulder. I opened my eyes and looked up to see another girl my age. She reminded me a lot of Riley. Brown hair that shined and big brown eyes coated with innocence. 

"Hi?" I mumbled confused and still kind of half-asleep.

"Hi, I'm Rachel. I was just wondering if me and my brother Ollie can share your blanket tonight? He has a cold and it's a cold night."

"I'm Maya and yeah of couse." She smiled. Glad she could help fake Riley even if she ruined real Riley's life. "How long have you been out here?" I shuffled over and held out my blanket for them to get under.

"About 7 months. My parents had no money to keep the house and they died a few months after we moved on the streets. It's just me and Ollie now. How about you?" She sighed but smiled at me.

"Haven't you tried the orphanage? And just tonight. I needed some time away from my life. I don't know how long that's going to be yet."

"We did at first but they're not nice places to live," She looked down at her little brother sleeping and stroked his hair. "They tried to split us up. I didn't want that." 

"I can understand that. I'm an only child but if I had a sibling I'd never give them up for the world." I smiled to myself.

"So time away from your life? What's happened if you don't mind me asking?" Rachel asked looking into my eyes. She could obviously sense my pain.  You could see it from a mile away.

"I messed everything up. Hurt my bestfriends. My crush. I'm depressed and I'm losing myself." I sighed. 

"I know what you mean. I lose apart of myself each day. Especially when I see Ollie hurting. He misses our parents. I do too but it hit him hard. And now we're out in the cold with him sick as anything and I'm scared he's going to die Maya." She cried. I put my hand over hers and smiled at her. 

"I won't let that happen. Tomorrow we will go out get your brother some medicine and find you a shelter. I have some money saved up. And then when I go home, you're coming with me." 

"Maya, I can't ask you to do that. You barely know me." Rachel said crying.

"I don't need to know you to know you're hurting and need help more than I do right now. And if I stood by and let you and your brother suffer while I lived my life then I would never forgive myself."

"You already don't forgive yourself." Rachel pointed out.

"Touche." Maya nodded and sighed looking down at the cold pavement.

"Night Maya. Thank you." Rachel smiled and rested her head on Maya's shoulder. 

"Night." Maya mumbled before she fell asleep, sleeping through the masses of phone calls and texts of Riley, Lucas, Farkle, Zay, Shawn, Cory, Topanga and her Mom - leaving them worried sick.

I just wanted to say sorry for not updating. College has been a lot more demanding than I thought and my friends are quite shitty if I'm honest. I've also got my first job and turned 17 so I've been busy and procrastinated a lot. I have some time off for Christmas although I am still working Christmas Eve, Boxing Day, New Years Eve and other days. Soooo... I will be updating or planning as much as I can.

I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas/Hannukah/ Kwanzaa/Eid/ whatever you celebrate and a Happy New Year! 

Lets hope 2017 brings less bullshit and racism and poltics and things start looking up for us. Lets all spread peace, love and happiness. Take care of eachother. 

Remember I love you, regardless of your background.

H xx