dear j

[4]

february 21, 2011

dear j,

                i remembered the first time you hugged me, the first time you spread your arms widely out at me, the first time i felt the warmth you were giving me, and it was all making me sane for one complete day. i did not know you would hug me like that. i never thought you had the capability to hug me like that. it was mesmerizing, it was enchanting and i loved how i was in your arms, like we were a puzzle piece that were completed once and for all. it was the most beautiful thing that had happened to me, j, and i was loving every single bit of it. you were beautiful, and i loved you for that. you were the best thing that had happened to me, j. and every day, i kept falling harder and harder for you.

 ☂☂☂☂

february 21, 2012

dear j,

 

                i meet someone today at the local coffee shop. his hair is brown and disheveled at the right places but his brown eyes are smoldering, like they can pierce you right through your soul. he’s standing at my back at that moment, his eyes never leaving off at me any single moment. he seems to be impatient because of my indecisiveness on which coffee to choose. he suddenly grunts at my back, his impatience growing thin and i have no choice but to choose the usual coffee i order whenever we go to our favorite coffee shop. i can’t seem to move on with you j, as if, i’m trapped inside your soul, locked in a chain with no key to unlock it.

                when i turn around, i suddenly bump into him—accidentally—in the most ugly sense. he glares at me, and i almost fall but his arms are able to catch me immediately. i suddenly remember the time your arms have wrapped around me, but this one—his arm on me—is a new territory i’m dwelling in. i can’t distinguish if this territory i’m crossing is a good or a bad one. i hope it’s neither. i don’t want to be engaged in this guy who can pull somersaults into my stomach right at this moment.

                i still miss you, j.

 

forever yours,

a

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in two long months, i've updated. i hope you're still interested to read.