dear j

[8]

february 25, 2011

 

dear j,

 

                i still couldn’t get over you, j. every time i see you with another girl, my heart would break into two. was this the product of being in love with you? or was this some sort of infatuation that i was casted upon? you also have known i liked ron because i was open about it. our classmates would sometimes tease us. ron didn’t mind though, he was cool about me having feelings for him. i was glad because he could temporarily remove all the feelings i had for you, or maybe ease the ache that was inside my chest.

                you were curious who texted you with a random hi and a random number sent to you. it was me, j. i was the one who sent you that text because i was afraid that you would know i had feelings for you and our friendship was what mattered the most. i just wanted to have a conversation with you over the phone. i asked you if you loved adventures but sadly you didn’t. you were not interested in those things. i loved venturing off the world, j, because i knew there was something more to life than staying stuck in a small town where everybody knew everybody and where daily routines had become habits.

                j, i sometimes got crazy rethinking and thinking over things again. why was this making me so hard? you never intended to let me fall right? but i was crying along the way home while listening to some sappy songs that might worsen my mood. i wanted you so badly there are times i wished you would reciprocate back. but that wasn’t going to happen because in real life, i wasn’t the princess you were treating me like. i was just a friend you would merely take a look at.

                but there was one thing that made me assured somehow, you had broken up with that girl. within two days? that was so fast but maybe you had changed your mind and i wished it was me.

--&--

february 25, 2012

dear j,

 

                andrew seems to be a very nice person. sarcasm intended. he is the rudest, the meanest man in the century. after my finger got burned yesterday from the experiment, he keeps on bringing it up to my face as we proceed to another experiment. he keeps on telling me that he will do the work constantly reminding of how a klutz i am. he’s grating on my nerves, j, because he doesn’t know who he’s dealing with. but as i stare at him do the chemistry experiment, i can’t help but feel awed because of the strong determination set in his green eyes. oh, i haven’t told you he possesses such wonderful green eyes. i thought he had brown eyes but he had hazel orbs, actually and sometimes they turn green and sometimes, blue. ew, why am i describing his eyes as wonderful? i feel disgusted hearing myself say it.

                but i also can’t deny he’s good-looking. but you’re way better than he is. although lots of girls fawn over him, he’s still an arse towards me. he seems not to stop pointing out a flaw with a smirk clearly painted on his arrogant face. i badly want to punch him sometimes but i know you won’t like it j so i’ll just keep it at bay but when everything breaks loose, i will literally punch him in the face. i sound like a really tough girl, aren’t i?

                one more thing, we’re going to meet up later at our coffee shop this afternoon because he really insists.

 

forever yours,

a