The True Me(under Revision And Editing)

5

Bella-

   I had asked if we could stay the night,reluctantly, and they surprisingly agreed. With the help of Charlotte, I had made my way into Jasper's room and Beau into the guest room across the hall. I sat in the bay window, looking out at the mountains in the distance and the surrounding night sky. I opened up the window to get a better view and clear my head. being stuck inside a rather large room, that somehow still felt stuffy to me, was not going to help. The windows swung outwards and the night wind came in to the room, calming all of my racing thoughts that I tried to push aside. 

   Looking back out into the night, I wondered if being Jasper's mate would mean that I would have to say goodbye to Beau. Although he knew of their existence, I didn't know if he wanted to become one like I did. Would he sad? Angry? Happy? I just really wanted too know right then and there. Then again, he would have to prove himself to me. He, and all the others, left me when I needed them most. Also, what about my racing career? I mean, yes I was terrified that day, but I still want to get back on the track. What if my transformation prohibited me from racing? I just couldn't fathom the idea of one day leaving all of it behind. It angered me actually. 

"Izzy? Are you alright darlin'? Jasper asked with concern and worry coating his voice. 

   Of course the clumsy me, when I'm in my head too deep, almost falls out the window seeing as their is no balcony. Luckily, Jasper grabbed me by the waist and easily lifted me onto the bed. 

"Yes, I'm fine." I quipped, not really meaning to sound short with him. 

"Your emotions say otherwise, darlin'. Can you tell me what's got you so upset?" He said soothingly. How he isn't bothered with my attitude, is beyond me. 

"I'm just thinking about everything. Trust me, you wouldn't understand." I stated crossing my arms. I walked back over the open window and looked out. 

Feeling hands on my arms, he turned me around and said in a reassuring voice, "then help me understand, darlin', because I'm not going anywhere." 

   At those words, I broke. I told him my fear of losing my career, my brother after I had just reunited with him, and the fact that he was going to have to prove to me. That he wouldn't abandon me like the pansy jack-ass did, and treat this as some sick joke. After I was done ranting and feeling like I had gotten everything off my chest, I looked into his red eyes. He brought his hands up to my the sides of my face and brushed his thumbs across my cheeks.

"Izzy, no matter what happens, you decide what you want to do. I'm not going to control you like that asshole. I will stand by whatever you decide and if I have to prove to you that I am not going anywhere for the rest of our life together, I will." 

   At this point, I was crying. Not tears of sadness, but of relief and joy. Relief because I was free in a way, and joy because I finally found someone who loves me. I attached myself to him by wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. I whispered the only thing that came to mind, "thank you, Jasper."

   He chuckled and sat on the bed with me still wrapped around him. I never want to let my cowboy slip through my fingers ever again. It would hurt too much and I would kill anybody who try to take him away from me. That right there is a promise to, not only myself, but to jasper as well. 

"Darlin', as much as I like having you wrapped around me, you need to get changed for bed."

"I'm not tired." I said, not wanting to let go or go to sleep, even though I was exhausted.

"You can't lie to an empath, darlin'. Now go change. I'll be right here when you get back."

   Letting go of him and going into the closet, I found a pair of his grey sweatpants and a grey short sleeve shirt. Knowing I was just out of eye sight, I pulled off my clothes and put on Jasper's. I had to roll the waist band a few times so they could fit. I put my clothes into the hamper and walked back over to him. He opened his arms and I crawled right back into the position I was previously in. 

   I tucked my head back into his neck and listened to the soft melody that he was singing. I closed my eyes and listened as he gently rocked side to side. I don't know how long it took me to fall asleep, but I was slightly startled awake when I felt Jasper move me on to the bed. I reached out and grabbed his arm. I attempted to look at him with pleading eyes so he wouldn't leave me. 

"Hold on, darlin. I'm gonna change and then I will be right back next to you." He said as he kissed my head and smiled at me. 

   I nodded my head and lay back down on the pillow, still slightly awake. Not even five seconds later, he was back next to me. I immediately threw an arm and leg across his body so that way I was cuddling him and I was comfortable. I heard Jasper chuckle and start to hum that same song again. I smiled as I drifted off into dreams filled with my cowboy.