The True Me(under Revision And Editing)

8

Bella-

  When we got to the house, Jay carried me inside and up to our room while the others stayed downstairs. When we got to our bed, Jay sat at the end and shifted me around so that I was facing him. I put my arms around him and buried me face in the spot where his neck and shoulder met. I just lie there for a few moments and breathe, inhaling his scent that is still a little faint for my human senses.

  It had calmed me down enough so I could focus on the present and envision my future with him. I want to have a family so bad, but right now is not a good time. Not while we are dealing with Maria and Edward. They would kill my child before I could even blink. The day they rot in hell is the day I can finally feel relieved. They are trying to tear my family apart and I won't have that. 

"Darlin', are you okay?" Jay said, startling me out of my thoughts.

"Yea, just thinking about the day when the evil pigs can burn in hell and when we can grow our family." I stated, knowing the want of a family was showing through. 

"I know darlin'. But, if we can't, I am forever okay with just being with you, because you are my blessing in this life."

  His words brought tears to my eyes and, right there and then, I would make his dream come true. Maybe not right now, but I would do it no matter how long it took me. I smiled at him and kissed him with as much passion as I had in me. With out breaking the kiss, he shifted me to lie on the bed. He broke the kiss so I could breathe. How is he so perfect? 

  I didn't want to go any further because, if we did, we wouldn't be able to stop. I guess I had somehow voiced my thoughts by accident and he just nodded without getting hurt by it. I just smiled as he flopped on to his back and pulled me close to him. I lied my head on his chest and took a nap, despite the fact that it was a almost early evening. Dreaming of my future where there is no violence.

~3 hours later~

  When I woke up, it was dark outside and Jay wasn't with me. I got out of bed, went down the hall and down the stairs to find the living room empty. I went to go check the kitchen, but there was no one there, the light was on and a note on the table. I picked it up to get a closer look and to see that read,

"Darlin', if you wake up and are reading this, we went into the city to feed. Emmett and Rose are out side so that you can stay safe. Char made dinner, and figured you would be asleep for awhile, it is in the fridge. I should be home soon. Love you, Jay."

  I put it back down on the table and went to the fridge. Upon opening it, I found some spaghetti and heated it up. While it was heating up, I ran up to our room and changed into some long black sweatpants, one of Jay's grey sweatshirts, and grey fuzzy socks. When the microwave went off, I went down the stairs, throwing my hair up into a messy bun. I didn't care what I looked like because I was so hungry. So I sat down at the table and basically devoured my dinner.

  Once I was done, I washed my plate and put it away. I decided to go wash my face to get the sauce off and grab a book. After I had done both, I settled back in to bed and started reading. It was a little past midnight, and I was halfway through my book, when Jay walked back into the room. I looked up and smiled at him as he lied down on his side of the bed. I marked the page I was on, put it on the nightstand and crawled over into his arms, snuggling myself as far as I could. 

  I was wide awake, but eventually I dozed off. I was woken up by the first sign of morning when it streamed in. Lighting Jay up like he was made of diamond, making diamond effects bounce all around us. I stared in awe, wonder and peacefulness seeing as I would probably never have this chance again until I was turned. With the realization, I turned to Jay. 

"Jay, we need to talk about when I'm going to be changed. As well as Beau and when he gets off leave. I don't know what I'm going to do when he goes." I stated, trying not to choke on my own tears. 

"Darlin', we'll discuss your transformation later today when everyone else is up and moving around. As for Beau, he is strong. Even if I can't promise that he will come back, I know that he will try to keep himself safe. The military is a tedious waiting game for loved ones and family. The best thing you can do is to write to him every chance you get and keep faith." He stated, kissing my forehead. 

  Nodding, I lied back down trying to get rid of the horrible thoughts of one day seeing two uniformed officers walking up the steps. It's hard not to think about, but not impossible. Sometimes, I wish to see how the future play out. But at other times, such as these, I don't really care to see the future. But Jay is right. It's a tedious waiting game of phone calls, face time, hand written letters, and the never knowing. It's a forever endless game of back and forth, but the one thing that's certain is that it's the never knowing that keeps us going.