The True Me(under Revision And Editing)

6

Bella-

  The next morning, I was woken up to bright sunlight seeping into the room. It took me a couple minutes to blink the blurriness out of my eyes, but I rolled over and snuggled into Jasper's chest. How the hell he seemed soft to me, who is still human, I have no idea. Nevertheless, I lied my head on his chest, again ,and looked out at the bright blue sky. I imagined my life ten years from now.

  Would I be happy living a life with no kids? What if I could have kids? What would Jay think? Would he be excited? Thrilled? Or dissatisfied with what we couldn't have? With what I could never be able to give him?

  That thought saddened me. Not a lot, but just enough to alert Jay. I felt him tighten his arms around me slightly and started humming some sort of tune. A different one than last night, but still beautiful to me. I decided then to ask the one thing that was bothering me so much.

"Jay?"

"Yea, darlin'?"

"If you could have kids, would you?" I asked hesitantly.

"I suppose I would. Now do you want to tell me why such a question was runnin' through that pretty little head of yours?" He asked pointedly.

"It was just a thought. Besides, even if you could have kids, I wouldn't want any right now. We only decided to be together last night, and don't even start to make a smart remark, Jay." I stated when he decided to open his mouth.

  He shut it pretty quickly and laughed. He then rolled over, so that he was on top, supporting his weight on his forearms. I giggled and smiled up at him.

"Darlin', I don't think you know how much I love hearing my name roll off those pretty little lips of yours." He said lowly.

"Well cowboy, at least I know now." I giggled.

  He groaned and rolled off to the side. I took this chance to jump out of bed and go take a shower. After getting out, I changed into some light denim jeans, a light grey top, and my brown cowboy boots. I threw my damp hair into a pony tail and brushed my teeth.

  I looked at him, who was still on the bed, and started walking towards the bed. He opened his arms for me to lay against him again, but at the last second, I turned toward the door and bolted down the hallway, down the stairs, and into the living room with a laugh coming out of me. I didn't see any Cullen's there, so I assumed they left. I gave my apologies to Charlotte when I saw her in there. She told me no worries and that it was normal.

  I imagined that Jay was using human pace to try and get to me. He was being too slow! I told jay that he was being too slow in a normal voice, knowing he could here me. I ran out the door and onto the front porch. I went around to the back, and wondered when he would find me.

"I caught you." He whispered into my ear.

  I squealed and giggled as he picked me up and spun me slightly. When he put me down, we just stayed there on the back porch, with his arms locked in front of me and my hands resting on his arms. I could've stayed like this forever, but my stomach decided to growl.
I blushed and Jay laughed. We untangled from each other, and went inside.

  We went into the kitchen to find Peter and Beau in a conversation and Charlotte making pancakes and eggs, I think. I walked over to an empty bar stool next to Beau, and sat down. A moment later, a plate of pancakes, eggs, and a glass of orange juice was set in front of me.

"Thankyou for breakfast Charlotte." Me and Beau both said at the same time. I swear we could be twins sometimes.

"It's no problem, and family calls me Char." She said, smiling.

  We bbn both nodded and dug in. After we finished the food, I insisted that I washed the dishes, while Beau dries them. After lots of insisting, Char gave in and we set to work. I had just grabbed the last plate when I accidentally dropped it back into the sink. The crash wasn't loud, but it caused my brother to drop to the floor immediately. I instantly knew it was a PTSD attack. I got next to him, and started shaking him. Begging him to snap out of it.

  Peter and Jay came to help, but I shook my head. Just as quick as it started, it stopped. Beau came back to his usual self and got in a sitting position. I gave him a hug and told him everything would be ok. He shook his head and broke down again. I looked at the boys and Char. Peter motioned for me to talk to him.

"Beau, I know you can't tell me much, but what happened while you were away?" I asked him.

"You don't understand, Izzy. I've seen men get blown apart. My bestfriend died in my arms." He sobbed.

"Your home now. You're not there. It's going to be ok." I stated, rocking him back and forth.

  A few minutes later, we got off the floor, and Beau went to go sit on the front porch swing, while I finished the few things in the kitchen. After. I got done, I went to go find Jay. Beau needed his space to calm down, somI would give it to him. When I found him on the back porch, looking at the horses, I wrapped my arms around him. He shifted so that he was looking down at me, and kissed the top of my head. I snuggled into his chest and sighed.

"Everything will be ok, darlin'."

"I hope so." I said, hoping it would be.

  After we spent another hour outside, we went back in and sat on the love seat, and Jay pulled me into his lap. We were watching t.v. when Peter came in looking worried. Char was right behind him.

"Peter, what's wrong?" I asked hesitantly. Not really sure that I wanted to know.

"We have to go to the Cullen ranch. I'm not sure why, but it's all I can go off of right now." He said with a worried tone. For that, I was now on edge.