end up here ≫ marco reus

014

From: ELO135@yahooh.com

Sent: Thursday, June 12, 2014, 14:09PM

To: MaR1989@hotmails.de

Subject: RE: no subject

Ich liebe dich.

At least, that's what the internet and google translate told me. I'm not sure how to pronounce it though. I'll probably butcher that though.

---

ELOISE

I probably looked pretty star struck when Marco spoke those words for the first time. Especially in his terrible French. I wasn't sure what to say. Of course, I wanted to say it back, I mean, I've wanted that probably since I first fell in love after a couple of emails. But it's now all so serious, that I don't think I could take it back, once I've ever said it. It probably took Marco heaps of courage to say "I love you" after he had so tragically lost his previous girlfriend. I look at him and smile.

"You could definitely work on your pronunciation a bit, but I can help you with that," I wink at him, and he chuckles. "Oh and I... well, I don't know how to say it in German actually. So, I guess you'll have to wait with that a little." He nods, perhaps a little disappointed as I didn't immediately return the few words. Of course, I could tell it to him in English, but you know, I don't want to lie to him, by saying it too soon, and this kind of gives me some time to think everything over, and whether this entire relationship even is a good idea – or not. I've not really done long distance relationships before, and the relationships I've had in the past weren't all too nice either, so I don't really have high hopes for this one either. Besides that, I'm super busy with school and I have a thesis to hand in at the university. And even if I pass, moving to another country for a man that I've mostly got to know through emails seems a little drastic in my book. But then again, many people do that every day, even if they've never even met the guy, and I've met the guy, and the guy is greater than I thought he was. But there were still so many things I wanted to know about him and so many things I wouldn't know about him before actually having spent a lot of time together.

"I guess, I'll move my butt up to bed," I tell him and stand up. I want to walk away, but I feel his warm hand touching mine, pulling me a bit back. I twirl around, "What is it?"

"I didn't startle you, right?" he asks me.

"You didn't," I tell him, "I just want to do things right this time, and not like the millions of other relationships that I've had, where everything fell into pieces once I actually fell for them." He was silent when I spoke, and I let go of his hand and made my way to the bedroom. He hadn't called after me, and I actually felt bad for him, because without me, it meant he had to struggle up the stairs to the bedroom by himself. The thought of it was actually kind of funny, but that was something I shouldn't think about, because Marco wasn't feeling very well, because his big chance of joining the World Championships in Brazil had been blown to smithereens, and now I was there to pick up the pieces. At least, that's how I saw it. Sometimes. I lay down on Marco's bed, rather than the one that I slept in the first night. I enjoyed spending time with Marco, and I felt like sharing a bed was quite an intimate thing that had to be shared. There was no touching involved, not even cuddling or hugging of that short. The nights we spent together in bed were mostly spent talking about everything and about nothing. Of course, there were always moments when I wanted to pull him closer to me, but I was afraid for some particular reason, so I never did. And Marco probably didn't want to force me into anything I didn't want to do, so he never really tried out anything either, letting me take charge. But because I didn't make a move, our intimate moments were mostly spent talking, and for some reason, I enjoyed it like that for now.