PIECES OF HER

Piece 9

Mia POV: (to not be confused MIA is not the one who was telling the story in the first chapters) 

i woke up and my head hurt from all the crying and yelling of yesterday, it feels like a dream , all the things that accrued last night seem like a dream that never happened but it did actually happen. i set right as i started to remember every little details about yesterday night, the last thing i remember was me yelling and breaking everything around me, i can't even remember how i got to my room. every time i remember something , a sharp pain start to increase in my heart and my breathing becomes heavier. I went to do my morning routine,  had a cup of coffee just like usual but wait a second it doesn't feel  usual in my life anymore *open your eyes and look around you* that sentence came across my mind suddenly and I started to have headache trying to remember where I heard this sentence before . I stopped thinking about the source of that phrase right after I took a sip of my sweet coffee and i just kept repeating it again and again. I stood up from the chair and put the cup in the sink, since it is weekend and i have nothing to do i had two choices: - first choice : start a drama marathon ; seriously i don't think it is gonna be a good choice with the drama happening in my life recently -second choice: go out for  a walk and buy groceries to make a good dinner. well these two choices aren't that tempting so i just go with the second one because i know if i spend another five minutes thinking i'm gonna explode.

i get ready to go out , i just wore comfy close ,wash my face with cold water to refresh, put some BB cream and that is it .ready to go ! i took my little purse and opened the outside door , the sun rays were bright that i had to close my eyes *open your eyes and look around*  without noticing , a tear run down my cheeks and suddenly i'm crying , not crying  loud that you can hear me when you pass by , not crying because i know that i'm getting fired from my job , not crying because i'm leaving the country for a long time ...i'm crying without knowing the reason *open your eyes and look around you* , it keeps playing in my mind out of nowhere and now i just feel sad , depressed,useless, gloomy and never want to be living. my hands are still covering my eyes ,not because of the sun rays anymore but because i don't want to open my eyes anymore , i'm scared and afraid of whatever i'm gonna see or hear next. i'm afraid of keeping  making mistakes , i'm afraid of ME .