About That Girl

I

I have a feeling that there is a time in everyone's heart
Where there is no feeling.
When you cry so long and hard
That you break the blood vessels beneath the chocolate of your eyes
Or when you bite your lip into oblivion
To keep your frail feelings from spilling out of life's boiling pot of water.
When your father claws your heart
With his false revelations about your future
With his hatred for you, burning brightly
Like the wick of a candle.
The candle is scented
With anxiety and angst
And it is painted with a picture of every word he's ever screamed.
When the one you have loved for an eternity
Stops
Their scent leaves your lungs forever
Their lips let go of yours
Even though you gripped them with white knuckles
Their hands stop holding yours in place
On top of their heart.
You lose touch
You lose them.
Or when your friend
Swallows pills made from other's pain
To keep breathing just a little longer
To keep holding on
And the scars never stop bleeding
No matter how much pressure you apply
You could hold forever
But they would still
Forget
To say they're sorry
To say they love you
To say they've changed.
Gun shots stop the world
Car crashes break more than glass.
Thinking that maybe if you would have left work later
Or skipped lunch
Or brushed your teeth in front of the mirror for one more second
You wouldn't have witnessed the blood
Or the screams
Or the girl crying for her father to open his eyes.
Open your eyes, God damnit.
I have a feeling
That maybe we're not all bad.
That the world is not a nightmare
Like Stephen king scrawls into the pages of his novels.
I have a feeling
That life has meaning.
That experiences and pain
Lead to love and gain.
That we are not all hopeless,
That we are all not broken
For we can be healed.
By a hug
Or a glance
Or a person
Laughing so meaningfully that you can't help but smile
Because it was meant to be.
I have a feeling that there is a time in everyone's heart
When there is no feeling:
Just a wish
To make it out alive.