You're so set on your way of life.
There is no smile or laugh of mine
That doesn't send you wishing
For the lovely dream that can exist
Only if I vanish
The thought-
You never had a daughter at all.
When you talk you sound like a country woman
Married an Iowa man
And had a kid with too much hate
And not enough thought
Spinning in the close mind of
A boy that's seen too much.
When you take my words
And change them into what you
Want to hear configured in your
Lifeless eyes
It burns
The little wood pile of our relationship
Down to embers
And it takes a long time
To gather the wood for winter
But it takes no time at all
To burn it away
Just as long as one of us
Has a mouthful of matches.
I want...
You to wake up and tell me
About anything to humanize the blank stare
Glistening on your lips
When I scale downstairs on Sunday
And see the empty beers and broken plates
Of Saturday night.
I wish...
You would listen,
Not to your walkman but to my words
To the way I duck behind the pride
You throw on my brother
And I know life isn't fair
But he's not going anywhere.
I know...
Somewhere inside there is a struggle
To rip out of your persona and
Speak to me
In a way free of your favorite words
That imply my worth
And my distance from our family
And there is a gaping hole in the middle
Of each life because
No one means what they say.
You're so set on your way of life.
Even if it's killing
The remains of a heart in your daughter
And causing head pains and body aches and sensitivity
But oh my god don't you see why
I cry when I have to come home,
And when I don't have to
I smile.
Dear Dad,
I feel like you
See me as a rival instead of a teammate
And dance without heart to a song
Made of water that streams from the iris
Of your daughter's eye.
But you'll never see.
You'll never hear.
You'll never love.
And I'll always fear.
YOU ARE READING
About That Girl
Aléatoire"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
