Her.

Chapter XVII

Haya decided that she really wouldn't take no for an answer that day. It had been two weeks since her father's funeral service, and she was now ready to move on... To Erik. So badly had Haya wanted the man who hid his feelings for her, and so badly did Haya want him as her own. She knew by now that she held no less than love for the wonderful man. That masked-man who held her heart and has always held it since the moment he healed her hand.

Erik had stayed at the house, too, and for that Haya was so very grateful. She was able to get him alone.

The sleeping incident hadn't occurred again since Henry's funeral, and that made Haya feel a little less secure about Erik's feelings. Nonetheless, she was sitting across from him on the sofa ready to pour her heart out.

"What is the matter, Haya? You are shaking," Erik determined gently.

"I just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me-"

"Haya-" the man tried to protest.

"No, Erik," she said determinedly and grasped his hand, "Please heed me."

Erik leaned back a little and removed their hands.

"I shall."

Haya took a deep breath and threaded her own hands together, biting her lip before she assuredly formed words in her mind. Not that she hadn't practiced the speech several hundred times.

"Over the time that I have known you, there is little you can say that will prove to me you don't feel even a fraction of what I feel. There have been so many indications... Our kisses, the night you slept in my bed, the way you look at me when you try to insult me is the biggest betrayer to your lie. Do you know how your eyes scan my body and my soul? They peer into me as if trying to find the love that you don't want to believe is there. Father is dead now, Erik, and his last parting words to me were that he shouldn't stop me from loving someone. Well, I love you, Erik. And I know -somewhere- that you love me as well," Haya finished, trying to meet Erik's gaze as he shook his head and stood from the couch.

"You don't understand!" He exclaimed and threw his hands into the air before pointing at an innocent Haya. "You are too naïve and too innocent to understand that even as you approach twenty, you are too young and too beautiful for me! Haya, I cannot stain your name or your fortune! There is so much to you, and there is way more to me... We cannot mix! If it takes me saying I do not love you for you to understand, than I shall."

"Erik," Haya stuttered with tears forming in her eyes. This was not at all how she planned it to go.

"No! I cannot take this! You don't need me, Haya, you need someone who will love you! Someone capable of being a man for you to make love to. I am no man, Haya, I am a monster no matter what anyone, even you, tries to tell me. I've murdered, I've done awful things you certainly know of, and I have been lucky enough to play the devil for a fool. I've escaped treachery and bondage too many times to count. I've tortured, been tortured, and there is nothing that I have which you want."

Haya was shaking her head vehemently. She didn't want Erik to think that way. She wanted him to understand that no matter what, she loved him regardless. Even past all the false lies and the murders and the sins, there were good things to Erik. He saved her father from dying prematurely, he saved her from nearly killing herself after her father died; for if he hadn't been there Haya surely may have offed herself.

"Why can't you just say it?" She suddenly screamed. "Why can't you just tell me you love me, Erik! Even now you're looking at me to kill my resolve. I don't understand! Do you want me to ravish you or end you? I don't understand!"