100 roses (destiel high school au)

Chapter 16

Cas pov

Cas found himself near tears often. His days were spent falling asleep in class and his nights were spent awake, calling Deans cell. But Dean never answered. It had been exactly a month since John had showed back up. Exactly a month of Cas staying up until his exhaustion won him over. Waiting for a call back from Dean that would never come. Cas could only think negative thoughts about the situation. What if something bad happened. What if John had killed Dean and that's why he wasn't responding. Or, Cas thought painfully, what if Dean was alive and well but had decided that he wanted nothing to do with Cas which was the reason he moved away. Cas tried to tell himself that that couldn't possibly be true. He loved Dean and Dean loved him. But still there was a part of him that questioned that. Did Dean really love him? It was on the one month anniversary of Dean's departure that Cas turned to an old friend, Pain, for comfort.
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Pov Dean

John enrolled the boys in a scholl in Kansas and dropped them off at a crappy motel before leaving town for business. Dean knew he should be there for Sammy more than what he was but he couldn't help it. When he wasn't drinking, he was spending his time sleeping. Sleeping as much as he could. His dreams were the one place he could be back with Cas. Holding him, kissing him, admiring his laugh when Dean would tell a stupid joke. Everything was perfect when Dean was asleep. But he couldn't sleep all the time. And when he would wake up, he had to face the reality that Cas wasn't there.
It was at the end of a bottle where Dean realized how stupid he had been. It didn't matter that John had broken his phone. He could still call Cas.
The next day at school, he tapped on the shoulder of the girl in front of him.
"Hey, uh, Lisa is it? Look do you mind if I borrow your phone? I need to call a buddy of mine but I lost my cell."
"Sure." She handed him her phone.
He walked a few steps away from her before dialing Cas's cell. It went straight to voice mail.
"Damn it Cas, would it kill you to charge your phone?" He cursed under his breath before dialing his home number instead.

Hello? Luci answered the phone.

Hey..uh..is Cas there? This is Dean.

Ah, Dean. Yeah he's here.

Great! Can I talk to him?

No, I don't think that's such a good idea.

What are you talking about, why not?

Are you kidding? You left him without even saying goodbye. The kid hates you, Dean. He doesn't want to talk to you.

...oh

Dean hung up and brought the phone back to Lisa, fighting back tears.

Pov Cas

"Hey I heard the home phone ring. Who called?" Cas asked his brother, jogging downstairs.

"Actually, it was Dean." Luci gave him a grim look.

"Dean?! What did he say? I have to call him back!" Cas rushed for the phone but Luci stopped him, shaking his head.

"Dean um...left a message for you."

"Okay, good! So what was it? How is he?"

"He's fine, Castiel. But he said...well...he said that he just wants you to know that the reason he left was because of you. He said that he was tired of you so he called his dad and had him arrange this whole thing."

Pov Dean

A week later, Dean decided that if Cas could move on then he could too. The girl who's phone he had borrowed turned out to be Lisa Braeden, captain of the cheerleading squad. With a little encouragement from Sam, he managed to ask her out.

Pov Cas

A few weeks had passed since Dean called. Knowing why he left was worse than not knowing. Castiel had started sneaking out of the house, disappearing for days on end. He had been staying in various drug dens. After some talking with some new friends who he had met hanging out in an alley on the way home from school one day, he had decided that he could benefit more from doing drugs than he could from cutting himself. It was after one of these stays that he hit his lowest low in a long time. He had actually went to school that day and layer in bed all day after he got home. He wasn't sleepy, he was just tired. He stared at the ceiling, not getting up to eat dinner or anything, until he had to use the bathroom at around midnight. On his way back to bed, he noticed something. A record from one of Dean's favorite rock bands. He dared himself to put it on and his ears couldn't believe what they were hearing as the music began to play. One of the slower songs from the band, Dean had danced with Cas to this song. They were supposed to be doing homework but Dean had pulled Cas to his feet and they danced until they collapsed, out of breath and smiling. Then Dean had leaned in real slow like and kissed Cas. It was a magical moment. But it was gone. It's all gone and there's nothing Cas could do or say to stop it. He didn't really think too much before he did it, it just sort of happened. He followed every urge he got in that moment. He had the urge to rush into his bathroom and grab the bottle of pills. He had the urge to sloppily scribble a note for the few people who actually cared. He had the urge to swallow the whole bottle of pills right there, as he layed on his bed. A mess of tears rolled down his cheeks as he layed there, dying, listening to a soft song that once brought him happiness.