Chapter 3: missing you

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Its been at least 6 hours since Harry left to go to war and i know im supposed to be positive and know that he always comes back but i cant help but think of the worst. My mind is my worst enemy right now and i dont know how to shut it off, I dont think you can shut it off. Im laying on the carpeted floor of the living room floor. I refused to move after he walked out the door, but i have to get up. That's what sucks about life is that it moves on without you whether you like it or not and i just need a pause button sometimes. I slowly get up from the spot ive been laying and look down at the body shaped indent ive made in carpet. I would have laughed but i couldn't seem to find anything funny at the moment. What time is it? I look at the TV i never turned off, its on the news channel. i look at the bottom corner of the screen, Damn 1:35. I need to get back on a steady sleeping scheadule, sleeping in like this isnt gonna work out for me.

I stand all the way up and turn off the now aggravating TV and then stretch. I almost expect to smell delicious food and harry to just walk out like haha i got you good. That didn't happen so i walk into kitchen and decide to just pour myself a bowl of cereal, you know a basic breakfast for the people who dont feel like or just cant cook. taking a seat i start shoveling spoonfuls into my mouth. Its way to quiet in this house i dont see how people could live on their own, i'd be freaked out and paranoid like i am now. All of a sudden i hear the neighbors dogs start barking like every morning when the mail ma-. As i slap myself in the head for not remembering i practically toss the bowl in the sink and gallop outside to the front porch. Harry said he would be writing to me and i hadn't even thought about Stan the mailman coming once, come on get a grip Louis.

I check the time on my phone but its only 1:45, Why is Stan so early today? I sit down on the lawn chair on the porch and watch as Stan slips the neighbors mail into their box as the dogs go wild on the glass door. After Stan has put all of their mail in the box he starts over to my house and i swear my heart skips a beat from the anticipation. Stan is going though his mail pile in his hand then he looks up and sees me sitting on the porch. He does that really casual hand wave that people do to each other when their driving but they have to thank you for letting them pass if you know what i mean. " Good morning Mr. styles" he says as he goes through the pile to get all of my mail. "Stan you know you can just call me Louis right?" "Yeah i know sorry its just a habit that im used to" He hands me a big stack of mail with a smile, man he really loves his job because every time i see him he is so jolly and always has a pep in step. Just as i was about to go through the pile to see if i got the letter from harry, Stan spoke up "Hey i dont mean to intrude but i couldn't help but notice that you had a letter in their from the U.S army and i cant help but relate to the feeling" My heart almost pumped out of my chest hearing him say the letter was here and as much as i wanted to run inside and rip it open, I couldn't just ignore what Stan had said.

"What do you mean you can relate" i said actually really curious. " Oh i know i haven't told you much about me but actually my wife is in the army and i always get letters from her when shes away on her missions and things" wow i never knew that Stan's wife was in the army too and the way he was so casual about her being gone took me by surprise. "How are you so calm about her being gone" I said without thinking. "Oh im not calm im always concerned about Ellie but i always think of the best out come and when i do it she always ends up being ok. Plus she writes me every chance she gets and when i saw the letter in your mail I instantly reminded me of her." You never know how little you know about a person until you really sit down and talk about it with them. "Oh wow i never knew that. well harry never has to write because he is always back in a short period of time so he just Skype's with me every now and then or calls." "Yeah well its an emotional roller coaster but at the end of the day when they come back its all worth the wait and my wife is out of country right now she got a phone call a couple of days ago" I guess Harry isn't the only one who got a sudden phone call. I dont know why but knowing that i wasn't alone gave me a little bit of relief. "I dont mean to speed up our chat but i have to keep heading on with the rest of my mail run soon, but i do have a package for you to sign off on." I saw him pull out a medium sized brown box with a whole lot of stamps on that bad boy out of his bag. Stan handed me a pen and i signed on the line. "it was nice talking to you today Mr- uh Louis, i'll see you around." With a tip of his hat he turned around and started heading to the house across the street.

i didn't start to go inside until he hit the porch of the next house. Once i got back into the cool air conditioned house i started flipping through the mail. Light bill, Pre paid credit/debit card, A late happy birthday card from my job, Food ads, Coupons, coupons and MORE coupons. Then finally there it was perfectly sealed and i dont know if it was shiny or if it was just me but i stared at it for a good 30 seconds before i started to open it. I carefully opened the letter and pulled out the paper inside.

Dear Lou,

I promised you i'd write to you and thats a promise i intend on keeping. I wanted to let you know that i safely made it to the base and im ok. We are going to be doing a bit of traveling but the mission we have should be a quick in and out job if everything goes to plan. We are going to go to a place sorry i cant disclose where, but when we get there were gonna set up a camp nearby and watch for a bit then plan our attack. That's as much as i can say for now. I dont want you sitting around being sad and miserable. I dont want you to over think things please for me. The only way ill be ok is if i know that your ok and when i get back you'll be there waiting for me like always. Im so sorry i had to leave so suddenly on our anniversary and I swear to you that ill make up for it but for now i sent you one of my t shirts that i dowsed in my cologne and hopefully still has a scent by the time it gets to you. I cant promise you that i can write everyday so dont freak out if i miss a day but i can promise i will write whenever i get the chance or have the time. I love you with all of my heart and please get some rest and dont stress yourself out ill be back soon Sincerely- Harry

I teared up at dear Lou because im a big baby. I'm so happy he wrote me this because it gives me the closure i need to know that hes ok and ill be hearing from him so ill have something to look forward to. So thats whats in the box, i go to the kitchen and grab the box cutter and sit back down on the floor of the living room and start slicing at the tape. As soon as the box was completely open his scent hit me right in the nose. I swear he must have poured the bottle over the shirt for the scent to still be this strong. I put my nose up to it and took a big whiff, my muscles and everything just relaxed and i sat there just taking it all in. After being a complete and utter creep there for a minute i pick up all the mail off the floor and threw the junk mail away, then i went upstairs to the bedroom. i put all the mail on the bedside table, but I took Harry's letter and stuck it in the drawer so nothing would happen to it. I took his shirt and put it on the bed so i could put it on after my shower tonight.

I go back downstairs feeling a bit satisfied and stand there looking around. Then i realize the box i left sitting there, Hmm what could I do with the box. I normal person would have just tossed it in the trash or recycled it but ooh no not me i just had to do something weird. I tried to sit in the box but this sweet ass couldn't fit all the way in, I tried using the box as a robot head but i was to lazy to cut air holes into it so that wasn't gonna work out. Finally i decided to just put a bunch of different sweets in the box and take it upstairs so I had a secret stash and i didn't have to come down stairs to get any, Brilliant. After all of that the house was starting to get that creepy vibe to it again so i decided to call up someone i knew and invite them over. I didn't realize the minimal amount of friends i had until i looked at my contact list. I pretty much called everyone i knew up and they were all busy so my last resort was niall.

When i called niall up surprisingly hes busy too which never really happens hes usually just out eating his face off but he was out eating with his girlfriend this time. She was meant for him she acts just like him sometimes so i let him finish his meal with her. I guess i should start getting some work done, even though i always finish my work at the office so i dont have to bring it home, and plus i haven't been given any new cases. I grab some cheese crackers from the shelf of the kitchen and then start to head upstairs. i grab my laptop from the closet of my bedroom and plop down on the bed. My computer springs to life as i type in the password to my account. As i thought there is no new cases and im off tomorrow. I still get paid either way so im not complaining. I close out of the website and see the adorable screen saver on the background, The memory plays in my head as i was about to take a picture and i had the perfect pose then all of a sudden harry comes running up behind me and jumps on my back giving me a great hug from behind and kissing my cheek. I think the person took that as their cue to take a super cute picture and they nailed it. I love this background, i close my laptop feeling a bit worn out from crying earlier and trying to actually be active with that box stuff.

I was gonna take a shower but i have already gotten super comfy in the bed so i put the t shirt harry sent and put it on his pillow, then i pull up the covers and snuggle close to the pillow and try to force myself to sleep so i can get back on a normal sleeping schedule. Hurry back to me harry this house isn't the same without you.

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