Far Gone

Chapter:11 out of sight, out of mind

You ever just been laying down and have some super crazy idea pop in your mind. Like say your just walking behind someone and your minds all like "hey pssst yeah um you know what we could do, we could literally kill this person right now if we wanted to"  Then your just like...wait... What in the actual fuck am I thinking im not just gonna start killing anyone brain. Yeah thats what was going through my brain at this exact moment.   Kiss him.   Just sitting here with his  eyes shining in the moonlight. The smell of the water is strong in my nose but I still take a long lung filling breath. He stares back at me with such a passion I cant even begin to explain to myself. We sit so close I could feel the heat coming from his skin from him sitting close. Sitting so close i can smell the smell if pine and detergent rising from him. There's a question that lingers in my mouth that I cant seem to just spit out.

What is it that you want from me?

He stares directly at me now and places a hand on mine. I flinch out of surprise but I dont pull away.

Why didn't I pull away? Brain what made you think that any of this was ok?
He rubs a smooth gentle thumb over my knuckles and somehow closes in even more space leaving almost none.
Kiss him. Is all my brain screams out as he leans in. I dont move...

21 hours earlier

Why do I have to do adult things. I didnt ask for this, I was perfectly content with staying 17 years old. I had eveything I need plus people who cared about me.  But ohhh no now I have to do things like go out and buy my own freakin cereal! MY MOM USED TO HAVE PANTRIES FULL OF CEREAL! Dont even get me started on the whole overpriced ice cream bars. Now I feel bad for making my mom pay for the things.

When i finsish the last of the cereal i kind of feel disgusted by myself. Im just thinking "Wow fatty, wanna another box while your breathing down your food? Maybe you should try this classy thing called chewing?"
Now I know I gotta go out grocerie shopping and I might as well stop using my bills as a coaster and pay them. My mind is blank trying block out thoughts as I grab my car keys and slip on some shoes. Walking towards the door I get a glimse of the little wooden box that was left for me. The little wooden box I had no strength to physically or mentally move. A sharp pain hits my chest again, some sort of burning sensation in my throat like im swallowing boiling hot tea.
How could I have so foolishly and selfishly forgotten about what I had been told only last night. The pain of it was so much to take, my braim just wants so bad to block it out. But this is something that I must feel a thought that I must think. I need to let it hurt before I can begin to heal myself. Harry would want me to smile to think of the greater good of the situation but hes not here to reassure me, hes not here to tickle me until I laugh off my thoughts. I really wish he was. I slowly just put the box on a shelf above the t.v. I stand and stare at it for a while like it might not be there if I blink too much. Then I hear a knock on the door.

I click the door open to see none other than Eric. Surprisingly he was holding a box of cereal. "Hey louis I heard from a little birdie you ran out of cereal so I ran out and got you some more" I oddly get goosbumps. "Who'd you hear from that I need cereal?" I ask. He glares down at me with a smirk plastered on his face. It takes him a second to reply " well who doesnt need cereal and I was just at the store and thought hey maybe you would like some cereal too." A single bead of sweat starts to form on his forehead. Must be hotter outside then I thought. I still have goosebumps not because he got me cereal but because he got my favorite brand of cinnamon cereal. "Yeah your right everyone should own a box of cereal, but im sorry where are my manners would you like to come in and get a cold drink?" His smirk turns into a bright full smile "of course I would love to, thank you!" I show him to my kitchen and then pull the lemonade out of the fridge and then I grab a cup from my shelf. When I turn to ask him if he wanted anything else I catch him just staring around. He looks like a kid in a sweets store eyeing anything he can see. Ive never seen someone so fasinated by my home, I mean yes me and Harry put a bit of money into decorating the place up with painting some designs on the walls, hanging up pictures, adding fancy fake plants, and nice little glass figures spread about but no ones ever just stopped to take time to appreciate it all. Finally his gaze comes off of eveything and meets mine. "Sorry I don't mean to intrude but I love the way you've made this all come together, especially that elephant clock its all beautiful" Now I start to feel a little good about myself someone else enjoys my clock. "Thanks so much Im glad you like it! Um did you want anything else with your lemonade?" "oh no thanks I'll be fine." he says back.