The Tale Of The Marauders

Jokes And Banter

There's literally no way now that James and Sirius' secret handshake was anything less than 14 perfectly executed moves ending in a full body flourish. Some days, as a bonus, they get Peter to throw glitter as they finish. After Sirius had left, Remus comes up to James with his camera and says "Don't tell Sirius that I have a picture of him with bangs." "Woah," James commented "We are good people. We should delete that. Or we could show it to the entire school." Before Remus could speak, James was running down the hall with his camera and Remus was chasing after him.

Later, Sirius snuck into the girls' dormitories. Lily spotted him. "Sirius, what in Merlin's beard are you doing here?" Lily asked. Sirius hesitated then said "I should ask you the same question!" "I live here!" Lily replied. "I should ask a different question!" Sirius said before he ran. That day, Remus says to Sirius "Ve ta infierno!" Then when Sirius asked what it meant, Remus replied "Uh... It means... You're a blessing!" Later on, Sirius repeated 'Ve ta infierno' to Lily and she shouted, "BLACK! DID YOU JUST TELL ME TO GO TO HELL?!" "No..." Sirius commented, hiding behind

The next day, in the great hall, Sirius said "Where wolf?" And, pointing to Remus, James replied "There wolf." Remus sighed and rolled his eyes. Later in the common room, James asks "Moony, truth or dare?" And Remus said coolly "Truth, do your worst Prongs." James asked "Dogs or cats?" And after a short silence, Remus commented "I'm more of a cat person." Peter gasped and Sirius starts being all dramatic.

The next day, Lily talked to Snape and assured him, "You're going to go through life thinking girls don't like you because you're a Slytherin but no, it'll be because you're a horrible person." It was amusing to James, who was listening in nearby. At that time, Sirius was babbling in to James and Remus saying "There's a difference between good Remus and plain Remus. Good Remus is a goody two shoes who stops us doing pranks and plain Remus is a fight me kind of guy." Then Sirius says "I've been thinking-" and James interrupts saying "HALLELUJAH! ITS FINALLY HAPPENED! MOONY YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE IT! OUR ICKLE PADFOOT HAS DISCOVERED THOUGHT! I AM SO PROUD!" Wiping a fake tear away. Sirius stared boredly at James.

A week later, James, Lily, Remus and Sirius were running late for their Defence Against The Dark Arts class then Lily comes skipping in, saying "I'm a queen." Sirius came in behind her like "I'm a queer." Then James walked in saying "I'm a deer." Then Remus runs in, huffing and puffing, trying to catch his breath then comments, "I'm - sorry - but - I - couldn't - stop - them." And when James was being picked on by the teacher, Remus whispered 40% of all the answers to him from behind.

A few days later, it was a full moon and James, Lily, Peter and Sirius had been searching up in the library 'How To Become An Animagus' as they had all year and had finally mastered it. Peter was a rat, James was a stag and Sirius was a dog. Lily, however could not transform. Every full moon, they'd all head out to Remus' hang out in the whomping willow and make sure they stayed animals so they weren't harmed. They decided to convince Lily not to be registered Animagus', though it took a lot of convincing.

Remember Snape being bullied by James? It never stopped and in their 5th year, James used the expelliarmus spell on Snape, lifted Snape upside down in the air and tried to pull Snape's pants off until they heard screaming. "STOP IT, STOP IT!" Lily shouted. "I don't need your help, you filthy mudblood," Snape snapped. James lowered Snape and ran after Lily, who was in tears.

In an effort to cheer Lily up, James tried all the funniest jokes possible and told her all about his pranks and lowlights of clumsiness. James handed Lily a milkshake whilst doing it to make her happy but when she was drinking it, James made her laugh so hard she held her hurting nose because milk nearly came out of her nostrils. After catching her breath finally she told him, "God, I love you," still in a small fit of laughter.