Revolution

ONE

The truth is: I live on a borrowed life. In my old life, like most families, my family was large. I had two brothers and two sisters, with another one coming. These circumstances did not mean that my family was rich, in fact like every other family in the area we were on the brink on poverty.

            My days consisted of taking care of my younger siblings, I was the second oldest, and going to grammar school. I never understood why I had to go. I never understood why any girls went at all. After all, we were all expected to drop out when we were fourteen years old and it wasn’t like we used anything we learned afterwards. Just a little bit of writing and simple mathematics and reading on the good days. But, other than that we didn’t need any of the rubbish they taught us.

            My father was never home. He worked in some factory most of the time and came home one week every two months. And my mother she stayed at home looking after all us kids, and the house and everything. My younger siblings thought she was a machine. They thought that they could throw all their troubles at her and that she’ll magically fix it. Of course, she let them believe it. But my older sister and I knew better.

            After all the kids were placed in bed my mother would cry. She’d cry every day for what felt like hours. During these times my sister and I would curl up outside her door and just stare at each other and after mother went to sleep we would silently go back to our bed. Mother never knew at least she never let on if she did.

            In the morning everything would go back to normal and I thought this pattern would continue. I assumed that everything would stay the same. I estimated that I’d have two new siblings by the time I graduated from school.

            But then my sister got married to the neighbour. He wasn’t anything special, just another factory worker. But, she never looked back. At first, I was upset but then I got over it. But, it was my mother who took the worst hit from the new development.

            She went crazy. One night after father came home she would scream, “I won’t have another one, Don. I Won’t.” And like most things, I didn’t understand what she meant. Until the community nurse came over to congratulate. And I knew exactly what that meant; I was getting another sibling.

            Afterwards, mother started ‘experimenting’ and true to her word she didn’t have another one. In fact, she couldn’t. During the process she ended up passing away. I don’t remember exactly how. I simply recall her sleeping on the bathroom flower and a liquid that reeked of chemicals. My youngest brother tried waking her up. But she wouldn’t. Somewhere along the line, father came home. I don’t know how he knew, but he did.  He came with a civil solider. And together they took mother away.

            A few months later, father came to take me away.

            “It’s not that I don’t love you. In fact, you’re my favourite daughter...er, well not...yes, my favourite.” He stumbled on his words, rubbing his hand over the stubble on his cheeks. He was never much of a talker. “What I mean to say is that I love you. And I know your mother loved you.  And that is why I believe that your mother wants you to be a good girl and a responsible sister. Do you want to be a good responsible sister and make your mother proud?”

             I didn’t reply. I simply stared out at the landscape in front of me. It was really pretty; light ash coloured sky, clear cut mountains and grass. I had never seen something so beautiful; I never imagined something like that could exist. In fact, I was overjoyed that day since father had come home to take me on the Rails. My brothers and sister were so jealous of me, and upset because our neighbour, the old witch, had to look after them. Moreover, it was the weekdays so it was only father and I on the plains. It was like we were the only two beings in the world.