Phan Songfics

Deathbeds

Eyes like a car crash

I know I shouldn't look but I can't turn away.

Body like a whiplash,

Salt my wounds but I can't heal the way

I feel about you.

One. Two. Three. Four. That's it, I'm fucked.

Phil pulled himself up onto the bottom bunk of his bed. His arms ached, and he had no idea how he was to survive a massive war when he couldn't even do five push ups. He tried his best to hold back his tears, if any of the other soldiers saw him crying, he'd never hear the end of it. The tears came anyway, and soon he was thinking of his family, the one he might as well never see again. He won't be the same when he gets back. Even if he were to live, he'd die inside.

He tried to steady his breathing, tried to reign in the sorrow that threatened to consume his entire consciousness. Squeezing his eyes shut against the pain, he gasped as he conjured the image of his fathers stern face in his minds eye.

It's either marriage or war, Phillip. I won't stand for you just moping about like you have been.

Phil didn't want to get married. He figured he couldn't if he died. A new tide of tears threatened to drown him.

I watch you like a hawk

I watch you like I'm gonna tear you limb from limb

Will the hunger ever stop?

Can we simply starve this sin?

Despite his strong death wish, Phil proved terribly lucky. He seemed to have a golden touch, healing any soldier he set out to save. Phil was a nearly perfect medic, he had no will to live, making him incredibly selfless, and he was very skilled.

There was only one flaw, he was compassionate, too compassionate. Phil wouldn't let someone die, not if he could help.

He shared his bunk with a man called Felix, and this man shot a soldier from the other side. Normally, Phil would be forced to let him die, but this time Phil refused to let that happen. He saw something in the expression the man wore as his body hit the ground.

" My name is Phil Lester, and you're gonna be just fine." Phil slid down into the mud beside the wounded man.

" Dan. It's nice to meet you, Phil." Phil's cold hands set to work, picking the bullet from Dan's tan skin, and wrapping the wound in gauze. " Excuse me, Mr.Lester, but I'm fairly certain you shouldn't be saving an enemy soldier." Phil didn't even look up, he just continued to wrap Dan's wounds.

" The way I see it, Dan, is I can leave you here and you can attempt to crawl to safety, and ultimately die, or you can come with me, and potentially live a long life. It all depends on where your loyalties lie." Dan's skin had paled considerably, and his lips pulled down into a thoughtful frown, before he wrapped his arm around Phil's shoulder.

" Lead the way, soldier." Dan slurred.

And on my deathbed, all I'll see is you

The life may leave my lungs

But my heart will stay with you

" So, do you do this for every pretty boy that gets mowed down on the battle field?" Asked Dan, as he lay propped up on the bunk above Phil's.

" Everyone I can save, is saved." Phil dipped the wadded up toilet paper into a murky bowl of lukewarm water, and began sponge the area around Dan's wound clean.