Phan Songfics

Beautiful Nightmare

Hey there! Thank you so so much for opening this! I don't own Dan or Phil. The song is: Beautiful Nightmare by Skylar Grey.
I can't let go

I can't remember the last time I saw Dan. I miss him so much. Everyone thinks I made him up I didn't, though. I couldn't. Dan and the moments we spent together were far more beautiful than anything my ugly mind could have constructed.

I'm addicted to your torture

I haven't slept for three days. It's not that I can't it's that I shouldn't. My therapist said I should take a break from Dan so that's what I'm doing. I really want to. I miss Dan and the Void the world always has brought on a range of stiff rigid feelings and the Void was the one place I could relax. But I can't go back there because I don't think I will come back here. I'm not really sure I would even try.

I'm a prisoner to the pain

My mother has become increasingly concerned wich confuses me seeing as she could of cared less about me a week ago. She hardley spoke two words to me before but now she's constantly telling me to forget about Dan and that he's not real and she wont have a looney toon messing up her family. I think she's wrong. It all felt to real to be fake and even if it was it was better than anything I have ever experienced here. But things are getting fuzzier and fuzzier I can feel my grip on Dan slipping away. My beautiful Dan is slipping away.

Although your gone

I'm starting to think my mother was right. Maybe I did make it up. My memorys of Dan and the Void get fuzzier and fuzzier with everyday. I fell asleep yesterday and Dan was nowhere to be seen I can't decide wich explenation bothers me more: Dan leaveing me behind or Dan never existing.

All the misery remains

Apparently how real someone is has nothing to do with how bad it hurts when they leave you behind. I feel like someone ran over my heart with a skateboard. Even though it's incredibly stupid and kind of crazy I still love him with everything I have. Here or not here. That's why I'm sat here trying to reconstruct his beautiful face. Who am I kidding I won't do it justice.

I do my best

I'm back in school. Mother thought it would take my mind off of Dan she's not the sharpest tool in the shed. My little brother told a few of his friends about my "situation" and they told friends and now the whole school knows that I'm gay and that I had an imaginary friend. People keep shoveing me and calling me things like "Dream Boy" and "Fag". I really miss Dan.

Everyday just keeping busy

I sighned up for the school news paper. They didn't let me in. The teacher said it was because they had too many people signed up for it, she's a rotten liar. There isn't more than three people in that club. But I don't blame her. Who would want a gay freak like me in their club?

To avoid the ghost of you

I made two new friends. They're together. Chris and PJ are adorable they're the only two people who will talk to me nicely. Dan would've liked them. It makes me sad when they hug or kiss around me. I wish I could do that with Dan.

But when I rest

I forgot how dark the Void was. I can't see at all I would be alarmed but I know exactley what to do. Relax. When I first came to the Void I panicked until Dan found me and somehow convinced me to calm down I don't remeber how I was hysterical. It was a different story now I was calm and content for the first time in days as I layed back on the dark bottom of the Void. After Dan calmed me down the first time I came here he told me: "Never panick when you enter the Void. It lives for that. Just remeber there is always a reason your here just relax and let your subconscious find out what that reason is and the Void will fulfill it." Thats exactley what I do. The loud silence that surrounded me was shattered by a soft flutter of wings. I sat up squinting into the darkness at the glowing red butterfly that seemed to have a message for me. I reached out my hand steadily extending two fingers for the butterfly to perch on. It landed on my finger angling it's wings so I could see the message scrawled across them in a quick fashion: Phil, Meet me here tomorrow. I have huge news! Love, Dan.