Only You {h.s}

Chapter Forty Five

"Happy Birthday, Meredith," Dr. Walsh smiles are I walk into his office.  "How are you feeling today?"

I give him a polite smile as I sit down on the expensive leather couch opposite his desk.  He looks me over, probably for signs indicating my mood or any fresh cuts on my arms. 

"Tired," I shrug.  "But fine."

"Have you been taking those pills I gave you?" he raises an eyebrow.

"Yes, Jeremy." I grumble, rolling my eyes playfully. 

He smiles, pleased that I actually called him by his first name – something about it helping him connect with his patients.

"Lose the attitude."  He gives me a pointed look, amusement filling his dark blue eyes.  "You've made tremendous strides in the last two months with this medication.  You should be proud of yourself."

I pick at my nails, refusing to look at him.  I just mutter a "thank you" and hope he talks about something else.  I don't want to think about the place I was at before coming to see him.

Harry kept his word about getting me help.  The very next day he brought me to Dr. Walsh's office.  I don't know how he got an appointment on such short notice, but then again, it's Harry.  Who knows how far his bank account can reach.

It's been worth it, though.  At first I was kind of a bitch about the whole thing.  I didn't want anyone to think I was crazy.  But Dr. Walsh has helped me more than I'll ever be able to thank him.

"Any birthday plans?" he speaks up after a long pause.  This, I can talk about.

"I'm spending the day with Harry," I smile.  "We're going out to dinner later and he said he wanted to take me somewhere."

"That sounds lovely.  What about your friends?  Are you doing anything with them?"

"Allie and I went shopping yesterday.  It was really nice to see her.  And Niall took me to Nando's and I got to hang out with him and his girlfriend.  It took me forever to convince Harry to let me go," I laugh.

"Do you think Harry's gotten more protective since the incident?" Dr. Walsh asks.

That's how we refer to me slitting my wrist right in front of him.  The incident.

"I don't know," I shrug.  "He was before, but that was because I'm his and he's mine.  Now it's out of... fear?"

"Do you think he should come in for another session?"

Harry has come with me a few times.  It always just ends with both of us crying and hugging for an extremely lengthy amount of time.

"No, I don't think so.  But there is something I want to talk to you about."

"That's what I'm here for."

I roll my eyes at his cheesy response.  "Right, so, I think I'm... ready."

"Ready?" he repeats.

"Yeah, to y'know, do it."  I ignore whatever blush is appearing on my face. 

"Are you sure?" he asks.  I nod.  "What makes you think that?  It's not just because of your birthday, right?  Because that's not a very legitimate reason."

"No," I chortle.  "Because I can finally go days without thinking about Mr. – him.  I don't have nightmares anymore.  I don't hear his voice or see his face out of nowhere.  And I want to do it because I want to, not to keep Harry from leaving me."

"Do you still think he will?" Jeremy raises an eyebrow.  I shake my head.

"He was just trying to stop me from doing something I'm not comfortable with."  I put my face in my hands and groan.  "I should never have acted like that.  I'm so stupid."