~Angelic Eyes~ 《Re-writing》

7

After a few minutes of kissing we pull away. He pulls me back in a hug and I gladly hug back. Even tho I know what we just did wasn't good...

I avoid eye contact since I'm too shy. But Calum is not the one to just let me hang in there, covered in complete shyness, without making sure I'm okay. So he puts the tip of his index finger under my chin and guides my head to meet his dark eyes. His eyes are lit up with happiness and I can hear his thoughts running throught his mind. After a few silent seconds he speaks up...

...But the words that fly out of his mouth aren't what I thought they'd be.

"Lilith...I can't do this anymore. I love you. Ever since I first saw you I fell in love. I never believed in love at first sight but you appeared in my life and I was amazed. I feel like it's just meant to be..." his words seemed to tumble out of his mouth in a way that proved he meant all of this. He didn't know that all of this is impossible. But 

No. This can't happen.

"Calum...It can't be meant to be. I'm an angel. In fact, your guardian angel. This is impossible."

I try escaping from his arms but they tighten around me and I can't seem to succeed.

"I won't let you slip away from me. I need you." He said as the last sentence came out in from of a whisper and his voice cracked.

I was on the edge of crying. Why do things have to be this complicated?

"Calum. Please let me go. I won't go away. I can't I need to be next to you...that's my job." He let's me go.

I sigh deeply and go the bathroom. I lock the door and sit on the floor.

I pull my legs to my chest and brust out in tears. He won't hear me.

Angels' cries are silent, so the world can't hear them cry. In fact, if we try to cry in front of a human we don't have tears. This is the only thing that separates me from humans now that they can see me... my cries are still silent.

We can't show any negative emotions towards the ones we protect or live around.

*Trigger warning* *Includes self-harm, if you are not comfortable with reading it then feel free to continue from Calum's P.O.V.*

I pull the sleeve of my sweather up. I see my old scars. Before being an angel a.k.a. "the last time I was here" was hard for me. I was bullied. I had no friends. I was raped. I was played on. I was cheated on...

Everything bad that could happen was a part of my life. I snap back to the reality I live in now. I find myself searching for a sharp object. I hear shouting from the door.

"Lilith. Open the door. Please." Calum yelled and started banging on the door.

"Don't do this again. Promise me."
I remembered these words. My mother begged me to stop self-harming since the very start.

Everytime I was thinking about doing it these words reminded me of the promise I made with crossed fingers at my back. I start to cry even harder and my vision gets blurry.

"Lilith open the damn door or I'll break it." He yells banging harder. I finally find a razor.

I'm ready to do this all over again. I freeze. I can't seem to move. I'm stuck with the blade of the razor pushed against my skin. I made the first slit it was deep and the phisical pain rushed throught my veins at the moment I saw the blood.

The door busted open. Calum broke it... I had such an amount of shock, anxiety and thrill that my blurry vision was gone for a second. I saw Calum's worried expression and I dropped the blade. Calum rushed to me.

The last thing I remember I did is that I looked at my bloody wrist, then to the blood puddle on the floor and whispered "I'm sorry".

Calum held me tight in his arms as he cried. His words echoed throught my head "Please stay with me." Then suddenly he whispered a sentence that I'll never forget.

"I love you, angel."  

Suddenly everything went black. I felt relaxed.

*Calum's P.O.V.*

There you were  Lilith... passed out, lifeless... so vulnerable... I should have done something, but I was so shocked at the sight of seeing you like this that I froze. I couldn't move even an inch away from you. I pulled out ny phone, but I can't call an ambulance... After all you were indeed hman but practically with no identity only a twitter account, funny I know.

I knew exactly who to call. I was so afraid to lose you, Lilith, I was so sure about you being my happy place. Everytime I saw you something lit inside of me. A fire, THE fire, the fire of love...

But now...I thought I lost you for real.

She picked up.

"Hey" I said weekly sobbing "I really need you help." ...