The Complicated Jason McCann [on hold]

Chapter 5 - "Comforting"

Chapter 5 – “Comforting”

-Sophie-

Her voice echoed through the house and I wondered if I were dead. I had to be dreaming, it was impossible for it to be her. The walls were bright and hurt my eyes as I wandered aimlessly down the hallway. I followed the soothing sound of my mother singing her famous lullaby to me. My heart raced which meant I was awake, right?

I whispered quietly, my voice catching in the back of my throat. I whispered her name, not sure if she knew me anymore. Was she a ghost or was it me who was dreaming?

“Sophie,” she whispered to me.

It was so real, she looked perfect. She was glowing and looked healthy, unlike how I remembered her when she battled cancer. I stretched out my arms for her to hug me as tears pricked my eyes.

She shook her head, “Baby, this might scare you.”

Nothing could scare me now; I just wanted to feel her embrace again. I missed my mum and I needed her now. I shook my head.

“Okay, but don’t be afraid.” she assured me.

Afraid of what, losing her again? Maybe this is what I needed to recover; maybe the world was giving me one last goodbye.

She opened her arms for me and I stepped forward. As I wrapped my arms around her body, they slid right through and back to me. I furrowed my eyebrows and tried the hug again. My hands went straight through her. Tears begun to stream down my face as I panicked.

This is what she warned me about.

“Mum!” I screamed, “Why can’t I touch you?!”

“Because this isn’t real baby, I only live in your heart.”

~*~

I sat upright in bed as I wiped the tears from my face. It felt so real up until I tried to hug her. She warned me but I didn’t listen, I wanted her so badly. But I learnt something from that dream. I never lost her; she still lives in my heart.

-Jason-

“Why don’t you take a walk and get yourself something for lunch, it will get your mind of things.”

Ralph was probably right, my thoughts were eating at me and if I didn’t escape them sooner or later I may go insane. I nodded and stood up, looking out my window at the weather. It was sunny so I pulled on my jumper and made my way out of the house.

The main street known as ‘the strip,’ was busy today as it was a weekend. I attempted a fast pace walk to make it off to the side but I kept running into people. They’d say sorry and I’d mumble a swear word. A stranger doesn’t deserve a ‘sorry’. You don’t know them, so why is there need to say anything to them?

I was used to keeping to myself. I only tend to talk to people I’ve grown up with; unfamiliar people can break you at anytime and make you wish you never met them. They can steal and lie from you or even shoot your own brother like the stupid police force did.

Keeping to myself was a must right now, since they were probably going to come shoot me too. Because apparently, they can’t solve problems so they shoot them away. If anything, they’ve caused more trouble. Because as soon as I get back up I’ll be coming at them with all I’ve got.

I hit another person and I watched her stumble over. I growled and attempted to step away as she tried her best to get back up to her feet. I wanted to quickly get away, if she didn’t see me, I wouldn’t need to apologise.