The Complicated Jason McCann [on hold]

Chapter 6 - "Keys and Risks"

-Sophie-

I didn’t know why but I had decided to sit on the roof and tan. Being on the roof of a two storey house wasn’t exactly the best idea but I was homesick. I missed the beach, I missed the sound of the loud music and I was beginning to miss my ex best friend, Jasmine.

I don’t know why I was beginning to miss the things that I am so desperately trying to run from. I didn’t want my life to be a numb blur; I wanted to live life to its fullest. But to do that, I needed a friend and I needed a few risks to take.

Jason was two in one. It was a risk being his friend, I knew there was something about him that he wasn’t telling me and I was desperate to know.

Maybe he was my key to finding myself again; maybe I was his key too.

***

I threw my hair into a pony tail and looked over myself. I was wearing casual clothes, shorts and a t-shirt. I walked out of the room, slipping my earphones into my ears and turning up my iPod.

I smiled as I walked towards the tree Jason had taken me to the other day. The music made me happy; it made me less nervous to help him. I felt bad for him; he had lost his brother a few days ago. I knew the pain. I didn’t want him to take the same path as me. This is my chance to save someone; maybe this is the antidote I needed.

I reached the tree and slumped down, bobbing my head to the music while I waited.

-Jason-

I watched her nervously; she looked so peaceful and happy as she leant against the tree. Maybe she wouldn’t understand the loss of my brother; she didn’t look like someone who had hurt before. But she had, she lost her mother.

I wasn’t ever around many people, nor did I think about their feelings. Sophie seemed to interest me; I wanted to know how hurt she has felt. If you look at a painting you see what’s there, only the interested look through to find the meaning and the feelings.

I walked out from behind the bush and gave a small smile. She smiled back and took out her ear phones, standing up to greet me. She held out her hand for me to shake. She was a girl; girls don’t shake hands when they see people. I walked past her smirking and sat by the tree. She furrowed her eyebrows before letting it go and sitting beside me.

“So, what are you listening to?”

“Music.” she said plainly.

The awkward tension filled the air and I was desperate to get rid of it. I didn’t want awkwardness I wanted reassurance.

“It’s been three days.”

“Oh yeah, how are you going?”

“Alright,” I lied. “I miss him a lot though.”

“Jason, I couldn’t save myself but I want to save you.”

“Save me?” I questioned.

I was a McCann, I didn’t need saving. Especially by a girl.

“When you lose someone, you lose yourself.” she looked hurt as she said the words, not looking me directly in the eyes. “I won’t let that happen to you.”

“How did you lose yourself? What did you do?”

Her hand runs through her hair nervously while she thought about her word choices. I knew she never talked about this and it was hard for her to do so. I was grateful that she was telling me though, we could both vent.

This wasn’t a side of me I had seen before. The old Jason McCann wouldn’t trust anyone else, maybe she was right. Maybe I was losing myself...

“I was an alcoholic. I went out most nights and I would drink and party. Guys would take advantage of me and well, I was distant. I had no real friends anymore, I wasn’t Sophie Jackson.”