Ramsey's Worst Nightmare (a Sodapop fanfic)

Chapter 37

I had come to terms that depression was slowly setting in. I hated looking in the mirror. I hated what I saw. My blonde hair had darkened, my green eyes were no longer bright and shining, my skin had turned pale, I was losing weight from lack of food and proper sleep. I had gotten maybe 10 hours of sleep this whole week. The last time I ate a full meal was the night before Soda's accident. But I didn't feel hungry. I was sitting in the chair in the boys' room again, wrapped up in my blanket while Soda slept some more. I would wake him up when dinner's ready. All I ever wanted to do was cry. And I was just about to let it all out when i heard the gentle knock on the door. The door opened and Ponyboy appeared in the doorway.

"Hey, Rams." He said quietly.

"Hi, Pone." I responded.

"I figured you could use something to drink. I made your favorite. Green tea." He handed my the navy blue coffee mug. Steam rose from the top. I smiled at the kind fourteen year old.

"Thank you, Ponyboy." He nodded his head.

"Dinner will be ready in an hour. I'll pop back in when its done." I nodded and Ponyboy shut the door quietly. He was such a sweetheart. Any girl is going to be lucky to have him. I took a sip of the hot liquid. It felt god to drink it. The tea almost made me feel better. I sat in the chair staring at the wall holding the mug in one hand and holding my head up with my mouth resting on my fist. I was still holding back tears. I finally let the tears slip out silently. I didn't make any noise. I took sips of my tea here and there. I must have lost track of time because as soon as I knew it I heard Ponyboy's gentle knock on the door. He opened the door and a concerned look spread over his gentle features. He closed the door quietly and knelled on one knee in front of me. His right hand rested on my knee.

"Ramsey, what's wrong?" Ponyboy whispered, trying not to wake up Sodapop.

"It's all my fault Ponyboy. If I had just left with you, Soda would have never been hurt. I'm so stupid." More tears fell down my face. I wiped them away with me free hand.

"Ramsey, listen to me. What happened is not your fault. Bob acted stupidly. What Randy did was just plain disgusting and violating. But don't you dare, blame yourself."