Ramsey's Worst Nightmare (a Sodapop fanfic)

Chapter 44

The doctor finally took us back to one of the rooms. My arm was on fire at this point. And the bleeding still hasn't stopped. The nurse told me to hold my arm above my head. So here I am, sitting on an ER bed with three huge bleeding gashes in my arm above my head. Soda had started to lose some color in his face.
"Soda, are you okay?" I asked.
"Yeah, just a little too excited." He responded as he rubbed his face with his hands.
"How's your wound been?" I asked, attempting to keep him from passing out.
"Fine. The pain is starting to disappear." His voice sounded gravely.
"That's good." I couldn't think of anything else to say. The doctor finally walked in. He looked at my arm. He said I would definitely need stitches. Awesome. He cleaned out the wound with some iodine and numbed the area. We had to wait five minutes for the numbing medication to kick in. I sat on the bed for an hour while he stitched it up. I walked out with almost 100 stitches in each gash. He said I would need to get them removed in about 2 months. I set up an appointment with the lady at the front desk to get my stitches out. She handed me my appointment card. I took the card and looked back down the hallway where I could see Sam and Dean standing in one of the rooms. I contemplated going to see him.
"Rams? You okay?" Soda asked me. I nodded my head slowly and started to walk down the hallway to what I supposed was Randy's hospital room. Soda grabbed me by my uninjured shoulder and turned me around.
"You're not seriously going in there are you?" He asked me.
"I want to give him a price of my mind. I want him to realize how much he has destroyed me." I turned back around and walked into the room. There laying in front of me was Randel Adderson.
"Ramsey!" He sat up in his bed. "You came!" He seemed happy to see me. Soda and Darry stepped in the room with me. I shut the door.
"Yeah. I did. What do you want?" I asked,  no emotion on my face or in my voice.
"I just wanted you to know that I didn't intend to hurt you like that. I was drunk and angry and I shouldn't have taken it out on you the way that I did. And I will regret it for the rest of my life." His words hit me like a bullet. How could he think a sad apology like that could make it any better?
"You think that will change what you've done to me?" I asked, getting angry. I felt Dean step up behind me. He put a hand on my shoulder in an attempt to warn me not to do anything stupid.
"You've taken away my dignity, my sanity, my self respect, my courage! YOU TOOK ALL OF THAT AWAY FROM ME BECAUSE YOU WERE ANGRY?! I CAN'T EVEN SLEEP AT NIGHT ANYMORE BECAUSE ALL I EVER SEE IS YOUR UGLY FACE STARTING BACK AT ME! SODA CAN'T EVEN TOUCH ME WITHOUT ME FLINCHING UNDER HIS HAND! I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO FLINCH WHEN THE MAN THAT I LOVE WITH MY VERY BEING HUGS ME! I COULDN'T LOOK POOR PONYBOY IN THE FACE WHEN I STUMBLED HOME! YOU RISKED GIVING ME SOME SORT OF STD OR GETTING ME PREGNANT AT 16 GOD DAMN YEARS OLD! AND ALL BECAUSE YOU WERE ANGRY. NEVER ASK TO SEE ME AGAIN, DON'T EVER MENTION MY NAME TO ANYONE! IN FACT, DON'T EVEN THINK OF MY NAME! I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME AND EVERYONE ELSE IN MY LIFE! YOU RUINED MULTIPLE LIVES BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID ACTIONS! AND YOU THINK SOME PATHETIC APOLOGY WILL FIX THAT?! THOSE INMATES MUST HAVE REALLY SCRAMBLED YOUR EGGS BUDDY, BECAUSE YOUR PATHETIC EXCUSE OF AN APOLOGY ISN'T GOING TO FIX A DAMN THING!" I walked right up to him and got an inch away from his face. I grabbed him by the collar of the hospital gown he was wearing and pulled him close to my face. Dean walked quickly up behind me and put one hand on my shoulder and the other on my side, avoiding my injured arm.
"You will burn for what you did to me." I said in a very low voice. I shoved him back on the bed and glared at him one last time before leaving the room. Dean let go of me when I turned towards him and walked out. I promised myself I would never see his ape face ever again.