Our Own Forever and Always

Chapter Four

Jen's POV

It's been a little over a month since the premiers ended, and I have gotten back on track with life. Most of my time has been spent relaxing at my house in LA, but I haven't been able to keep my mind off of Josh. I can't help but think of his soft lips on mine, how amazing the kiss felt. It just felt so... right.

I grab my keys, smiling over to my dog, Pippi. Today, we start filming Mockingjay Part 1, and I can't help but be so excited. I haven't seen the cast in what feels like forever. I walk out to my car, turning on the ignition and blasting the radio. I speed down the highway to our set pulling in to see Josh's car parked on the other side. I get out, running to the trailers and greeting everyone. "Hey!" I say, engulfing everyone in a hug. "Where's Josh?" I ask, puzzled.

"He's in his trailer," Liam says, pointing towards a trailer a few feet away. "Well, your trailer. The two of you are sharing one again." I chuckle, thinking of the first time I met Josh face to face. I was super excited, and our director, Gary had pointed me towards a trailer. Without knowing that I'd be sharing it with anyone, I barged in. Josh was completely naked, and I've never seen someone turn so ghost white. After doing two movies with your best friend, though, nudity is the least of our worries.

"Hey!" I say, opening the door to the trailer. Josh looks towards me, running to embrace me in a hug. It feels so good to feel his skin against mine again. I never realize how much I miss having face to face contact with him. Phone calls just aren't the same. "I've missed you so much," I say, digging my head into his shoulder.

"I've missed you too." He says, pulling away and smiling. "Look," he says, grabbing at my hair. "Your hair is growing!"

I laugh, pushing his hand away from me. "It's getting there. Good thing I'm wearing a wig for this movie. Now your hair... is blonde." I joke, sitting down on our small couch. "What time do we start filming?"

"We have an hour until we have to start hair and makeup." Josh says, sitting next to me. "Well, you have to start hair and makeup. I just put on some clothes and call it a day." I lean up against him, giggling.

"I can't believe I only get three weeks to film with you. This sucks. I wish you were in more of the movie." I whisper, my voice fading out. Life without Josh is hard.

"Yeah, it sucks that Jena and I won't be around much this time." Josh says, biting his lip. I shrug.

"I guess we have some time to catch up," I say, putting my legs over him to get comfortable. I smile, raising and eyebrow. "Now, what's been going on in the daily life of Joshua Hutcherson?"

"Well," he says, shrugging. "Not much has happened. I spent a few weeks in Kentucky with my family, but that's it, really."

"Mhm," I say. "What about Claudia?"

Damn it. Why did I bring Claudia up? Why do I have this feeling in my heart that is completely eating me alive? Why can I not stop thinking about how much I want Josh's lips on mine again?

"What about Claudia?" Josh says, shifting uncomfortably. Does he know that I want him? Does he feel the same way? "Well, the two of us just weren't working out..." He says, his voice fading. I shrug, trying to make him feel better.

"Anyone would be lucky to be with you."

+++

I grab my things, saying goodbye to the cast. The first day of filming was so raw and emotional that I almost forgot about Josh. Almost.

I walk to my car, throwing my stuff into the back seat. I look over to Josh who is standing by his car playing on his phone. I feel a strong need for his lips, my body screaming in anticipation. I don't know what he wants, but I'm certain that I want him so much. I once said I wasn't ready for another steady relationship, but his lips changed that. I have to find out what this is, or I'm just going to spend the rest of my life wondering.

I walk over to him, pacing myself so I don't look too overwhelming. As I walk, I feel my emotions going crazy. My heart is pounding out of my chest, and by the time I reach him, I feel tears welling in the corners of my eyes. God, I'm so dramatic.

"Jen, are you okay?" Josh asks as he puts his phone in his pocket. He places his hand on my shoulder and I feel myself shiver. I wish I could just attack him right now.

I'm stuck, unable to speak. I always used to feel so comfortable around Josh, like I could tell him anything... But now, I feel so distant. I've already made a huge scene, so what now? I can't have a calm conversation about it. The only thing I'm able to say is, "Kiss me".

"What?" Josh asks, looking confused. He looks into my eyes and I feel my stomach twist up. That's how I get when I'm nervous.

"Kiss me." I say almost as if I'm demanding it. I am demanding it. Our friendship is the last thing on my mind. My ego is far from my it. I just want to feel Josh so close to me, even if it's the last time. We have nothing to lose. Claudia is out of the picture, and I haven't had a boyfriend in months. "Kiss me."

"Jen..." Josh starts, but I shake my head, interrupting him.

"You kissed me at the premier, so why not kiss me now?" I ask, feeling my lip quivering. He pulls me in closer, and just as I close my eyes, waiting to feel his perfect lips against mine, I feel them just brush off of my cheek.

I pull away quickly, collecting myself. I guess my suspicions were wrong. He doesn't want me. I feel so embarrassed, I want to scream at not only him, but myself. I was so stupid to think that Josh would ever see me in that way.

"I guess I should get going." I say, wiping the tears from my eyes. I fake a small laugh, and Josh offers me a smile. I turn to leave, feeling so stupid.

"Jen, wait." Josh says, grabbing my arm and pulling me back to him. I shake my head, pulling my arm from his grip.

"It was stupid. I'm just tired. I have to go." I say. I try to walk to my car, but I just end up sprinting, hoping Josh doesn't follow me. I don't want him to pity me in any way. If he doesn't love me, he doesn't love me.

I turn my car on, grabbing my cell phone from my bag. I find myself dialing Nick's number, waiting for him to answer. "Jen!" He says.

"Hey, Nick." I say, biting my lip. "So, do you remember when you asked me if I'd want to become more than just friends with benefits after the premier? Well, I think I want to take you up on that offer."

A/N
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