Our Own Forever and Always

Chapter Five

Josh's POV

I try to run after Jen, unable to think straight. I eventually give up as she starts to sprint from me, getting into her car. What have I done? Jennifer finally showed me that she wanted me, and I pushed her away. I'm such an idiot. If I was worried about ruining our friendship, it certainly is now. I can't believe I pushed her away like that. I've really fucked up.

I groan, walking to my car and throwing my bag into the back seat. I lean up against it, looking around the empty parking lot. What have I become? I probably just embarrassed Jen to no ends, when all I want to do is be with her. There's just something inside of me telling me that being with her is wrong. She's my best friend. I'm not sure about that now. She might hate me.

I get in my car, looking through my phone to see if she tried to call or text me. My phone is dry. I sigh, turning on the radio and trying to drown out my thoughts. I can't seem to do it. As I fly down the highway, I decide to call Liam. If I can't talk to Jen, I may as well talk to my second closest friend.

"Hey, Josh." Liam says as he answers the phone.

"Hey," I reply solemnly, pulling into my drive away.

"What's wrong, mate? You sound down."

"Yeah, I just really needed someone to talk to. Sorry if it's late."

"No problem." He says. "I just got home a few minutes ago. Everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's Just Jen." I say, grabbing my bag and walking into my house. I sit down on the couch, sighing deeply.

"Oh god, you didn't kiss her again, did you?"

"No." I say, clearing my throat. "She told me to kiss her this time, but I didn't. I kissed her cheek."

"Oh, that's rough." He says. "So, she likes you? She wants a relationship with you? That's kind of sudden."

"I don't exactly know. After I kissed her cheek, she said she was just tired and needed to get home."

"Well, you probably embarrassed the hell out of her."

"I didn't mean to."

"Listen, I've been in a lot of relationships, and you dated Claudia for years. You should know that if a girl tells you to kiss her she's not joking around... especially when she's sober."

"I know," I say, truly thinking of Liam's words. Maybe Jen really is interested in me.

"Do you like Jen in that way? I mean, you did kiss her first, so you must."

"I–" I start, sort of stuttering on my words. "I haven't told anyone this, but you're one of my best friends and I trust you with this."

"Shoot, man."

"I do like Jen. I think I love Jen."

+++

Jen was on my mind all night. Every time I closed my eyes, her beautiful face would pop up in my mind and I'd be wide awake once again.

Around 1:00 a.m., I gave up and found myself dialing Jen's number. After only two rings, she picks up, her voice sounding deflated. "Hey," she said, sniffling. God, I hoped she hadn't been crying.

"Hey," I replied.

"Can't sleep?" She asked. I heard her TV on in the background. She must've never even tried to go to sleep, because she hates when there is any sound when she is trying to fall asleep.

"You guessed it." I said, laying back onto my bed. I smiled faintly, and I could hear her shuffling around. "Sorry I called so late."

"No," she said, forgiveness in her voice. "I was thinking about calling you, I just didn't want to wake you." I smiled to myself. The satisfaction of knowing that she was thinking about me was so pleasing. I bit the inside of my cheek, just thinking of what to say next. After about a minute of silence on the line, she finally spoke up. "If you can't sleep, why don't you come over and watch a movie to fall asleep. You and I both need to get a few hours of it somehow if we want to act well tomorrow." I smiled widely and nodded, remembering that she couldn't see me.

"I'll be over in twenty minutes."