Those Eyes

Age 4

13 years ago.

     "I failed."

     Zahra gave his father a glance, then turned back to her big teddy bear doll. The one her uncle gave her before he stopped breathing and got buried two feet under.

     "What do you mean?" A 26-year-old woman, Zahra's mother, asked with a confused expression. "Rauf, the word fail doesn't suit you. It's not even in our dictionary. It's whether you free this land, or die as a hero."

     Rauf, who was just two years older than his wife, sighed. "I failed on keeping you safe."

     Zahra stared at her father curiously, wondering why there wasn't any cheerful smile on his face like usual. The poor kid didn't understand anything. But she knew something was definitely wrong, judging by the look on her mother's face. And Rauf would never take a step into any house without saying salam, including the house of his own. Let alone to open the door then sit on the floor, admitting that he failed, whatever fail is.

     Zahra just shook it off.

     Aisha, Zahra's mother, frowned. "What?"

     Rauf dropped his balaclava on the floor. "They found out about me. They know I trained those kids to be fighters. They know that I'm part of this so-called chaos."

     "So you're afraid of them knowing that you're part of the brigades? Is that why you left early?"

     Zahra just stared blankly at the ajar door, wondering why her mother sounded mad.

     "No," Rauf tightened his jaw. "They're going to track me down, Aisha. And then your life would be in danger, and so would Zahra's."

     Aisha let out a sinister chuckle. "We're all living in danger, my love. Our lives would always be in danger, especially here."

     "I know, but--"

     Before Rauf could say his point, the ajar door opened wide, revealing three Israel soldiers by the door, look as frightening as ever.

     In that moment, Zahra learned  that Israeli soldiers won't knock on your door to let them in.

     "Rauf Abdurrahman!" the most frightening one out of the three shouted, making Zahra jumped on her spot, dropping her lovely doll.

     Rauf turned to face them. There's no fear in his bright brown eyes, just worries were written all over his face. Zahra could see that he was worrying about her and Aisha's lives. Zahra knows that her brave and courageous father won't ever be afraid of death, let alone just some Israel soldiers who are--by the way--isn't even as big as he was.

     "What do you want?" Rauf asked sternly. The tone surprised Zahra. Never once in her life she knows he father could speak like that. His stare sent chills down Zahra's spine, although he wasn't staring at her. Rauf was terrifying.