Home Alone.

aNiMaL // nEoN tReEs

"And now onto something completely different!"

A few days ago, I partook in one of those truly great conversations that simply get you to think about the way that you're choosing to live life.

"Dude."
"Yeah?"
"I wanna change the world."

I don't know about any of you but it's rare for me to go through an actual day without hearing someone complain about how this world has gone to shit in the past few years.

Kids glued to their phones (including me), murder everyday in the news, the price of living being raised unquestionably high, etc.

There's so much room to change this world but we actually have a choice, depending on whether or not we actually want to.

You could say that this world needs changing as many times as you want but that won't turn a single frown upside down.

I've wanted to have a positive change on the world for quite some time now. I've wanted to make people smile and I've wanted to make everyone in this world feel loved and cared about.

But I dragged myself down with negative addictions and became distracted from my goal. I was addicted to sex with a girl that I didn't care about at the time and when I lost that, it hurt me. I was also addicted to lies and feeling the way that they would flick off of my tongue so effortlessly.

I lost friends, due to the simple fact that I was dragging them down with me. They saw so much potential in me when they had first met me but at that time, I was going down the drain and they were disappointed.

The sweet girl had seen potential in me. That's why she took me back in the first place. You see, she never wanted to lose hope.

When she finally did and began to ignore me, I lost hope and began to hate myself simply because I felt that she was beginning to hate me and I was finally beginning to fall for her, all at the same time.

I didn't think that I was worthy of actual love anymore.

Now that a little bit of time has passed since then and I've been able to reflect on how I felt that night and why I felt that way, I can truly come out to each and every one of you and say the three words that I believe everyone deserves to be saying every morning when they wake up:

"I love me."

I don't say that in an arrogant way because I try to make it as clear as possible that I am very aware that I've made countless mistakes in the past year, alone.

Since then, I've realized that she is happy with another man and I've become happy with myself, knowing that my only goal at this point is to simply love others, with all that I have.

I truly believe that every person in this entire world is worthy of receiving love, simply due to the fact that every person in this entire world is capable of giving love.

However, if anyone wants to change the world and bring about a positive change in even one person's life, they must love themselves first.

"Because how can you love another if you do not love yourself?"

I love the way that I care about people now and I love my determination to make everyone I know smile, and recently even the people that I don't.
I think that is my best quality and I truly love that about myself.

There are some difficulties however, when it comes to truly wanting to change the world and stir positive change for everyone.

You may find it easy to open a door for someone but do you still find it just as easy to smile at that very person if they walk through that door without acknowledging you?

You may find it easy to let an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend go but is it still just as easy knowing that they're finding love in someone who is treating them better than you ever did?

I can come up with countless examples on traffic and slow drivers.

But all it takes to change this world is love. Kids are glued to their phone until they're around someone whom they truly love, or say they love. Murder on the streets would not be a problem if there were more love in this world.

So, that is simply my goal. Now that I can truly say that I love myself just as I am, I wanna love others just as much. I want to help others love themselves.

And I want to spread love to every single person on this planet because that would change the world.

I love you all.