Home Alone.

mArViN's rOoM // dRaKe

If it were not for Inside Out, I would not have learned one of the most important lessons of my 17th year at all.

You see, Joy is trying to make it back to her home and she constantly treats Sadness as if she is an absolutely useless piece of trash.

But in Joy's darkest hour, it is only Sadness who comes to the rescue, is it not?

Spreading positivity is a privilege and a responsibility for every living person on this beautiful planet. And yet, why would we want to do that if we have not yet experienced or dealt with a sort of Sadness?

I spent a majority of my latest summer break, coping with a sort of Sadness that had an unquenchable thirst for pain.

I constantly looked through old pictures. I constantly reminded myself of past mistakes until I finally reminded myself that I could use my experiences to spread positivity and help others.

I decided that every time I would be seen in public, I would be smiling from ear to ear. I would be "never not smiling".

I was ashamed of feeling upset because you see, for the past few months, I've pushed myself to become a positive exception to the people who have "accepted defeat". And I would never allow myself to let anything get me down again.

You see, I grew up with people telling me that smiles were contagious and that if I kept making a certain face, it would get "stuck".

Smiles are very necessary when it comes to spreading positivity and I've almost convinced myself that the smile is truly there. It's not a fake.

But the other night, I had a breakdown for the first time in months.

I was drinking a beer and found some old notes between me and an ex. I read through them and memories began to flood my head like a hurricane in the South.

I remember practically collapsing to the kitchen floor and crying while hearing Drake in the background, calmly singing,

"Fuck that nigga that you think you found/
And since you pick up, I know he's not around."

I hadn't cried like that since June.

And yet, I've come to a point where I know it's wrong to conceal these emotions because if Inside Out taught me anything at all, it's that Sadness is simply necessary. In fact, Sadness is required to help spread Joy.

Being sad is nothing to be ashamed of. It is simply a sign of being human.

Being humble and accepting that you're only human, that is a sign of positivity.