1 - SCHIZOPHRENIA | K.TH

S T O

"You'll be okay." 

She was sick of hearing those words. She was sick of people making promises they wouldn't keep. She was sick of people telling her lies about how she was going to be okay, when she knew she wasn't. 

The voices were getting louder, her head exploding with invasive thoughts that she would never have been able to think of, gruesome and detailed scenes on how they were going to make her suffer. He was appearing more often, closer than he had ever been before. She knew it would only be matter of time before he would be close enough to hurt her, and everyone she has ever cared about. 

"Junyoung ah, gwaenchanha?" She jumped at the sound of her mother's soothing voice, asking her the question she was sick of answering. 

"Ye." Ani, I'm not. I'm not okay, eomma, I'm barely holding on. 

"Your father and I have something important to attend this evening, will you be fine alone?" No, please don't leave me alone with the overwhelming voices in my head. 

"I'll be fine." 

With that, her mother kissed her forehead and left the room, closing the door behind her and sealing J away from the real world. 

"She doesn't even care enough to stay with you after another one of your breakdowns." Her eyes squeezed shut, hoping he would leave if she ignored his words. 

"You know that never works, J. I'll always be here when no one is." She curled up further into her duvet, her back pressed against the headboard of her bed. 

"And why wouldn't you want me here, anyways?" She could feel the spot beside her on the bed dip down from his weight, a hand tracing the outline of her face. 

"After all, we're both the same."

"Stop." The word left her lips, desperation evident in her tone. She didn't dare lift her arm to smack away his hand, which was still caressing her cheek in a way that made J sick in her stomach. "Stop, please." 

"Come on, J, you know that we both have the same voices in our heads." He seemed to pause a little, before continuing. "At least, I used to."

"But it's so much better now, J, without having to live every moment without knowing who I'll be hurting next. All you have to do is let go. What's stopping you anyways?" 

"You, Jung Kook. I'm not going to let you get inside my head. You're just like the voices, you're just a figment of my imagination. You're not even real." She whispered, sounding more like she was trying to convince herself the truth. 

"And how would you know that?" His words set her apart, thinking about what he had spoken. 

How did she know he wasn't real? How did she know that everything he had just said wasn't real? 

After all, these days, J haven't been able to tell lies and the truth apart.

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A/N

why you doin this kookie.