1 - SCHIZOPHRENIA | K.TH

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"Taehyung, wanna go for lunch after school?" Taehyung barely lifted up his head from his desk, answering with a muffled "no" before returning back to sleep.

"Fine, be that way." Jimin replied, scoffing as he returned to his group of friends, whom Taehyung used to call his own before they drifted apart.

After school, he headed out on his own, a destination in mind as he walked to the place where he knew she would be. His feet brought him there on instinct, his surroundings a familiar blurry shade of green as he continued down the path that he knew oh-so-well.

Taehyung's mind was filled with many different emotions, a sort of serenity that topped it all off. Being alone had given him a lot of spare time to think, and maybe reflect on the things that had happened over the past year.

He barely noticed himself reach the place he had wanted to go, before he stopped and noticed where he was.

Taehyung navigated his way towards the spot where she was, finally happy and peaceful for the first time since they first met.

With that, he plopped down on the dead grass, placing the bouquet of lilies, her favourite type of flowers in front of her tombstone. He knew lilies signified innocence, which was everything she was before her sickness reduced her to nothing at all. 

"I'm sorry I haven't visited in a while. School has been pretty busy, and I've got homework and all." He smiled slightly, gently tracing the engraving of her name on her grave. "It's our two year anniversary, which means two years ago, was the day I first met you. Can you believe that? It's been so long."

Taehyung chuckled, his hands returning to his lap as his eyes downcast.

"I miss you a lot, J. Nothing's the same anymore. I can't bear to be with my friends, because even they remind me of you, and what I didn't do to help you." A tear fell on his lap. "I'm so sorry you had to face so much on your own."

"We were supposed to fight those battles together, remember?" A bitter laugh erupted from his lips as he shook his head in disappointment, the tears continuing to fall.

"Why did you leave, J? I thought you understood. I thought you understood I needed you, you and nobody else." His voice got louder, a sense of anger sprouting within him. "You promised! You said you wouldn't--"

"Excuse me?" Taehyung immediately turned around, coming face to face with a girl whose face he didn't think he would see again.

"J?" Taehyung couldn't help but let her name slip from his mouth, while the girls simply stared at him in confusion.

"Uh, you must be mistaken. I'm not the J you must be looking for, my name's Jae Hee. I just got lost here, and--"

"What?" How could this girl bear such a striking resemblance to the girl he loved and lost? Was this a way of God giving him another chance?

"Sorry, I shouldn't have bothered you, I'll just--"

"No. No, no, it's fine. What was it you were asking?"

"Ah, just the way to the main road. I kind of got lost, silly me." She giggled in embarrassment, something that reminded him so much of her. How she always got ashamed of the things that she did wrong, and how he'd find it so cute and adorable. 

"It's fine, I'll show you the way out. Just give me a minute." She nodded happily, walk away from the grave as Taehyung turned back to face the tombstone, sighing.

"I know you'd want this, and I already knew I was going to say this before I came." He swallowed back tears. "I've decided to let go. I don't want to hold on to something that I won't ever get back. So this is probably going to be the last time I'm visiting you."

Taehyung bit his bottom lip, unable to find the words to express his overwhelming feelings at the moment. 

"B-but I won't forget you, okay? I'll always remember you, because you were the strongest person I have ever known." A gust of wind picked up a loose petal on a lily, causing it to float freely in the wind, taking away Taehyung's guilt and regret with it. As he watched the pristine white petal fly up into the sky, he felt a weight lift off his shoulders, and J's face slowly fading from his mind. To him, she would always be an angel, someone who's name would shine a light in his darkened path. 

"But angels just aren't meant for this world, are they?"

With that, Taehyung smiled a genuine smile at her tombstone for the last time and stood, leaving the bouquet of lilies lying by her grave.

                                                                    ________________________

and that's the end of schizophrenia, i hope you enjoyed it :) 

fun fact: i took 1 day to finish writing this haha 

till the next book, goodbye !