Reborn ~an Alduin Love Story~

Abandonment Issues

"Ah good youre back! Your payment, as promised." Legate Cipius smiled and held out a coin purse to Sizaa but she slapped it from his hand and then slapped him across his cheek. The guards around them stood at attention and began to draw their weapons but he dismissed them with a wave of his hand, knowing he deserved her anger. "Come let's speak somewhere privately." He urged trying to pull her away from the eyes around them.

"Why? Too embarrassed of me to tell the truth soldier man?" She was snarling, years of pent up sorrow and anger of being left behind by her parents spilling over the surface and drowning any sense of calm she had worked herself into.

"Yes, but not for the reasons you may assume. Come with me, Furi." He grabbed her arm and started pulling her towards the back of the inn.

"My name is Sizaan." She struggled against him but he held firm.

"No, it's not. Your name is Furi Morrard. In honor of your mother Fura."

Sizaa was silent then, letting him drag her from the mainhall of the inn and into a room upstairs. Once there he finally released her arm and sat himself down in a chair beside a small table. He gestured for her to sit across from him but she ignored this choosing to stand by the door with her arms crossed over her chest. He nodded sadly, knowing her forgiveness would not be won easily if at all.

"I remember how clear the sky was, the night I left you there with them." He almost didn't seem to be talking to her. More to himself as he pictured the day he left her. "You were always a quiet child but when the monk took you from my arms you started crying. And the sky cried with you. It rained my entire journey back to Whiterun."

She scoffed. "Well I'm sorry you got wet after you abandoned me. It must have been really difficult for you to get water on your precious uniform."

"Leaving you there was the most difficult decision I have ever made. I won't ask for your forgiveness just, please. Let me explain," he sounded earnest so she let him continue. Though his apologies weren't what she cared about. Sizaa wanted only two things from the man: information about what happened when she was born, and to learn more about her mother. Anything else he had to say meant nothing as far as she cares. "You're mother didn't die on a scouting mission Sizaa. She died in child birth, she never even had a chance to hold you."

"I know. Captain Aldis told me."

"How did Aldis know?"

She wasn't in the mood to answer his questions but for the sake of getting what she wanted she humored him. "Apparently the soldier who went with you to drop me off at the monastery was discharged and when he got back to Solitude got a little too drunk and told Aldis everything."

"Should have figured. That boy did love his drink." Cipius laughed trying to lighten her mood. It didn't. "You were a beautiful baby, you know that? Every father thinks their child is the best, but you really were."

"Is there a point to this? Because there really needs to be."

The Legate was quiet for a long time. Gazing into her eyes and seeing beyond her anger. He could see the pain that sliced through Sizaa's heart as she stood in front of the man who should have been a father to her. Instead he chose the easy option. Cipius hated himself for it. He didn't want her to know the truth, but she deserved it none the less.

"Furi, you were born with so much power your body couldn't contain it all. It flowed through you like an electric current and when anyone other than myself tried to touch you it sent a...a.." he glanced around the room trying to search for the right words to explain what he saw. "A shock through their body and put them in some sort of spasm."

"That's ridiculous."

"It was, and terrifying."

"So you sent me away because I was too much for you to handle? Glad to know." She was done listening to him. She turned her back but he had risen from his seat and was embracing her so tightly she almost couldn't breathe.

"I didn't send you away! I went to the Greybeards for help." He was pleading with her to understand. Part of her did and wanted nothing more than to hug him back and accept the fatherly love she yearned for as a child.

"Because I was different?" Her voice was more broken than she meant it to be.

"Because it hurt you too. You had so much inside of you it was tearing you apart. You never cried, until someone tried to touch you and it shocked you both. The idea of you having a life without ever being able to touch another person was something I couldn't stand to think for you. How lonely that would have been...And the temple priests they...they called you a monster and wanted me to offer you to kynareth. I couldn't do it. So I took you to the monks, hoping they would know what to do."

"And then what?"

"They took you inside and told me you would have to remain there, until you learned how to control what you have."

"But I've never felt anything like you describe. What did they do to help me?"

"I don't know. Once those doors closed I never saw you again. I only hoped that one day you would find your way back to me."

"And you never thought to come back for me? Or to even write?" She was angry again, pushing herself out of his grasp and descending the stairs into the inn's back room.

"They said it was for the best you didn't know." Cipius followed not wanting to be parted from the daughter he already let slip away once.

"And you just accepted that? You didn't even fight to keep me?" She was yelling over her shoulder not wanting to see his face. She knew if she did she would forgive him but she couldn't allow that, not after all of the hurt and worse so loneliness he caused her.

"What was I supposed to do Furi your mother died because of your power I couldn't let the same happen to you!"
He had grabbed her shoulder desperately trying to get her to understand but she brushed him off and ran until she was far away from the inn and couldn't run any longer. She stopped only to catch her breath before pushing on to the one place she could find answers. The place she was banished from.