Adopted by Kpop

Chapter 1

So here I am sitting on my bed in the orphanage that I now call home. I used to go to an all girl's boarding school, but my parent were in a car accident 2 years ago and none of my other family wants me. Oh! Where are my manners my Korean name is Choi Dung Soo. But I am half American and half Arab. My American name is Ashley Noel and my Arab name is Benat-Allah. I am 13 years old, deaf, and I self harm. The orphanage that I am in is called St. Mary's Orphanage for Foreign Children. It is located in Seoul, South Korea. This is my first full day in here. Of course I have been here before but on the first night I tried to commit suicide and was put into a mental hospital. That place wasn't just torture it was h*ll. (Sorry for my language.)  Honestly I gave up hope on being normal awhile ago. But being in the mental hospital was outright boring. I mean being locked up in a padded room in a straight jacket for two years with nothing but your thoughts is incredibly stupid. And they didn't even care about me. The only people that saw me was my "nurse" and the idiot they called a doctor. The nurse only came in to my room to give me a piece of bread and a glass of milk for breakfast and dinner. I only saw the doctor when I was in electroshock "therapy". Because of that cr*p I'm deaf. The government thinks that because I am mental I don't deserve to be treated like a human being. But enough about me let's get out of my head before it corrupts you too.                       This is what the hospital was like, sort of.

            Right now I am sitting on the window sill in the room that I share with a preppy idiot from France. I started to hear the voices, the demons in my head have learned to throw their sounds. Sadly my thoughts were interrupted, which doesn't happen very often, by the door opening I wouldn't have noticed it if my light had not been off and the door shut. I looked up to see the lady who owns the orphanage. I still don't know her name because I don't care. 'There are people who want to see you.' she signed to me. I didn't move, I didn't want to see who ever they are. I am not going home with someone that doesn't really want me. Before I could react, she grabbed my wrist and dragged me down the stairs. Waiting at the bottom were seven handsome men and when I say handsome I mean handsome! The one with black hair (Jungkook) said something but I couldn't tell what. I turned to the caretaker and she signed 'They want to adopt you.' "N-N-N-N-No!" I shouted and marched upstairs. They just looked confused. I ran to my room and pulled out the notebook that the hospital gave me when I left and started to write.                             

Just an average girl
She always wore a smile
She was cheerful and happy for a short while
Now she's older, things are getting colder
Life's not what she thought, she wished someone had told her
She told you she was down, you let it slip by
So from then on she kept it on the inside
She told herself she was alright
But she was telling white lies
Can't you tell? Look at her dull eyes
Tried to stop herself from crying almost every night
But she knew there was no chance of feeling alright
Summer came by, all she wore was long sleeves
'Cause those cuts on her wrists were bleeding through you see
She knew she was depressed, didn't want to admit it
Didn't think she fit it, everyone seemed to miss it
She carried on like a soldier with a battle wound
Bleeding out from every cut her body consumed
She had no friends at school, all alone she sat
And if someone were to notice she would blame the cat
But those cuts on her wrist, they were no mistake
But no one cared enough to save her from this self hate
Things were going down, never really up
And here she is now stuck in this stupid rut
She knew exactly what she had to do next
Just stand on that chair and tie the rope around her neck
She wrote a letter with her hand shaking wild
"Look at me now, are you proud of your precious child?"
But she knew that her parents weren't the ones to blame
It was the world that should bow down its head in shame
She stood up on the chair and looked out at the moon
Just don't think, it'll all be over soon
The chair fell down as she took her final breath
It's all over, all gone, now she's greeting death
Her Mum walks in, she falls down to the floor
And now nothing can take back what she just saw
The little girl that she raised is just hanging there
Her body's pale and her face is violently bare
She sees the note and unfolds it with care
All she does is stare, "How can this be fair?"
She starts reading as the tears roll down her face
"I'm sorry Mom but this world is just not my place
I've tried for so long to fix this and fit in
I've come to realize this world's full of sin
There's nothing for me here, I'm just a waste of space
I've got no reason to stay here with this awful race
It's a disgrace, I was misplaced
Born in the wrong time, and in the wrong place
It's OK though, 'cause you'll see me soon
You'll know when your time has come, just look at the moon
As it shines bright, throughout the night
And remember everyone's facing their own fight
But I can't deal with the pain, I'm not a fighter
You'll make it through the night, just hug your pillow tighter
So let the world know, that I died in vain
Because the world around me, is the one to blame
And I know in a year, you'll forget I'm gone
'Cause I'm not really something to be dwelled on
That's what they used to tell me, all those kids at school
So I'm going by the law majority rules
My presence on this earth is not needed any longer
And if anything, I hope this makes you stronger
You're the best friend, that I ever had
Such a shame I had to make you so very sad
But just remember that you meant everything to me
And to my heart, you're the only one that held the key
Now it's time to go, I'm running out of space to write
And yes I lost my fight, but please just hold on tight
I'm watching over you, from the clouds above
And sending down the purest and whitest dove
To watch over you, and be my helpful eye
So this is it, world, goodbye."

I have a tendency to write about how I feel. I didn't know I was crying until part of the bed dipped down.

Hello, sorry if it is too short. This chapter took forever!