Suddenly...Gone

Chapter 15

Several years later...

Daryl knew he was going to die.

He had already accepted that over the last few hours. Throughout the years that he had been with Rick, there had been countless close calls and last-minute saves since the apocalypse happened, but this was different, and he knew it. It was also all his fucking fault. He didn't mind dying, he really didn't, but what bothered him the most was that Glenn, Michonne, and Rosita were going to die too and there was absolutely no one to blame but him. When they died, it would be the same as if he had sent a bolt directly through their hearts.

He would never intentionally kill any of his friends, but it still came down to one fact...they were here because of him. To him, it was the same. His fault either way.

They were all part of this unique family that they had created when they all had nothing else but each other. Whether or not one of them needed or wanted help, the others were always there to back them up. It was simply what they did. Daryl had been so determined to find Dwight, that even when they all knew it was a bad idea, they still followed him. Would any of the other's ever know what happened to them? How would Maggie handle losing her husband and with a baby on the way?

Daryl knew better than to go off halfcocked trying to find Dwight after he killed Denise, but he did it anyway. Her death was his fault too, and it was eating him up inside. Dwight had been aiming at him, but since his aim with Daryl's stolen crossbow sucked, he hit Denise with the bolt instead and now she was dead.

He was responsible for too many of his friends dying, so while he sat bleeding in that dark van, he figured he was better off dead to save the rest of them. He would sacrifice himself for the greater good of the group.

The van they were locked in was dank and cold. His right shoulder throbbed non-stop from the bullet wound where Dwight had shot him. That was another stupid mistake he made. He was an expert tracker and hunter and that the prick was able to get a jump on him showed how off his game he really was.

Daryl tried to shift to a more comfortable position, but it only made his head spin. The bullet hadn't gone completely through his shoulder and was still lodged inside. He had lost a lot of blood, in fact, his shirt was covered in it, and the wound was still slowly bleeding. Michonne had dressed it the best she could and forced him to drink some water that they found in the van. He needed to replace some of the fluids he was losing, but it didn't help much. He was in a pretty bad state, but that wasn't what was going to kill him. At least not just yet.

He laid his head back against the wall of the old van and closed his eyes. How his life had changed these past few years. He had lived a miserable existence for most of his life until he met his Emma. She had completely changed him and all for the better. She had shown him what love was and he drank it up like a man dying of thirst. He had been a man who had never experienced love, not from his worthless family or ever from a woman. Emma had changed all that. She had been the light of his life.

The light was long gone. Daryl never forgave himself for not finding her the day all hell broke loose in the world. He searched all over for her with countless trips back and forth between home and the diner where she worked. He had even tried the bar that she had quit months before and anyplace he could think of, but she was nowhere to be found. Merle had to drag him away from the trailer park as the area was overrun by the dead. Her kiss goodbye the day before was all he had left of her. If he hadn't gone off to help his fuckin' brother the previous day he would have been around to make sure she was with him when they literally had to run for their lives.