Kidnapping Me

The Tranny and the Pineapple Hair

"Yellow or blue?" I asked, holding out the two different coloured jackets to Amon.

He grimanced, shaking his head. I never realised how long his hair had gotten until he did that. It fell into his eyes and past his strangly shaped ears. "Does the colour really matter? Its the same jacket!" He protested.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, it does matter, thank you very much." I sniffed in annoyance, turning to Benny, who had been fiddling with the frayed ends of his denium shorts for the last ten minutes. "What do you think?"

Benny's eyes snapped up to meet mine and he shrugged. "Amon's the woman expert, ask him."

I rolled my eyes, chucking both jackets back into the sales bin. "Well, neither of you are very helpful are you!" I snapped.

Amon ignored me, his gazed suddenly focused on something behind me. He stood, straightening his worn jacket and flicking his long fringe over his forehead. "Well, I'm going to go chat up that girl over there." He smirked, jerking his head in the direction of the 1/2 price racks.

I glanced behind me. "Which one?"

"The blond one. Third aisle. Holding that disgusting floral dress." He poked his tongue out in disgust at the dress. "Hopefully, she won't buy it."

Benny chuckled. "Are you kidding me? Look at her!" He shook his head. "And then look at you, Amon. She's out of your league, bro."

Amon stuck his tongue out at us as we laughed. "Oh, very original, idiot. She's not out of my league!" He assessed the girl again, a frown appearing on his face. "Is she?"

I laughed, leaning on the rack for support. "Oh, um, let me think." I searched the girl's appearence over, then shook my head, making a face. "Oh god, no, you don't want her, Amon, trust me!"

I gaged a little bit, returning to my task at hand- finding a jacket at a low, and I mean low, price.

Amon shot a shocked look at Benny, who shrugged looking equally confused. "What? How can you tell?"

I huffed, once again interrupted from my search. "Okay, see her hand bag." Amon nodded, looking at the over-the-shoulder canvas bag which hug from her tiny shoulder. "That bag, is about $2 at any health food store, so we can auto-matically assume she's into health foods." I returned to eyeing the jackets on the rack, determined to find one by the time Greyson came back and made us leave. "Next, her shoes. They're at least four-inch-heels, which means without them, she's shorter than me. Her shirt is black and at least two sizes too big, suggesting minimal self-condfidence. Her shorts seem to hang down on one side, and... oh, yep, she just smiled. She's a smoker. And the leather jacket and tat- they suggest she likes bad boys."

Amon gaped at me. "You can tell all that..." he waved his hands around wildly. "from just looking at her!?"

I fanned my face. "It's a gift!" I said, preteneding I was all chocked up on his words just as Greyson appeared beside me, his arms laded with bags from different stores.

He chucked all of them to Benny, who picked them up as if they weighed nothing and turned to me. "You guys ready, cause we have to go..." He said, leaning against the sales rack, strangly close for comfort.

I sighed, parting the coat hangers as Amon stared at the other woman with a frown on his face. "Amon here decided he'd like to make a play for that health food eating, low self-esteem, smoking midget and he won't bloody help me choose a freaking jacket!" I snapped angrily, moving onto the next rack, hoping to god there would be something worthwhile in there.

Greyson laughed. "Smoking Midget?"

I frowned, sighing as I moved onto the next jacket filled rack. "Don't make me explain it again."