Crossbreed

Regret

Renesmee POV

I ran into the house into my room. I knew Dad probably listened to the whole thing. I just didn't know what to do. I was scared. I was just scared for what would happen with him. I wasn't ready. My door opened. "Go away dad." But it wasn't dad. Or mom for that matter. Rose was at my side, stroking my hair. "Edward told me. Look, I understand how you feel." I shook my head in disbelief. "No, you don't. How would you know?"

She sighed. I hope I didn't hurt her feelings. "I have my reasons. Everyone liked me in my human life. But I had trouble sorting out my feelings. Just like you." I was confused. I thought she had just wanted anyone? Anyone that could have a child, that is. Wasn't that all she wanted? She continued. "Look, it's all gonna be fine. You're just overthinking it. Trust me on this." I came out of the pillow and looked at her. "But what will happen if..."

"Don't think about the future, Renesmee, think about the present. Trust me, I know." I considered it. "You should tell Alice that," I said. She chuckled. "You can get your wolf back tomorrow okay? Go to sleep. It will all make better sense in the morning." She turned off the light, and shut my door.

I still felt the same in the morning. I knew exactly who I wanted to talk to. When mom and dad went hunting, I took my cell phone and dialed a number. "Hello?"

"Seth, it's Renesmee. Can you come over? My parents are out hunting. I need your advice." There was a pause. "Be right over," he said. Less than 3 minutes I heard a knock on my door. I answered it and he came in. I told him all what happened, how I felt. "Renesmee, I don't think you realize how much Jake really cares for you and loves you. But I do understand. You just need to trust him on this." I sighed. "It's not that I don't trust him, he didn't do anything wrong, it's me. I don't feel like I'm good enough for him. All I do is cause him trouble." He looked at me doubtfully. "Really Ness, have you met Jacob? He doesn't think that. He's just like you, actually. He thinks everything is his fault."

That made me feel a little bit better. Then there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it!" Seth said before I could tell him I would. "No, Seth what if it's my-" but he already opened the door. It was Jake. I thought he would get mad with Seth, but he ignored him. "Nessie! What happened last night? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," is all I could say. "Are you sure?" Now I was getting impatient. "I'm fine Jake, alright? Would you please just go?" I was regretting what I just said. Who had I turned into? My feelings were all over the place. "Oh I see. You'd rather talk to Seth. I see." He eyes Seth. "No it's not like that! I came to him for help because I don't know what I feel for you Jake! I've never felt this way about anyone and I don't know if it's a good feeling or a bad feeling! So just leave me alone!" I hadn't realized my parents were standing outside.

"Fine!" He said as he slammed the door. I could hear my parents talking to him, but Jacob didn't say a word. What had I done? I messed things up again. This is exactly why I didn't want to be with him. All I do is mess things up. Seth opened the window. "See you later, Ness," and he scattered out the window. My mom came in and hugged me. "Edward, let us have mom and daughter time, would you?"

Dad nodded and went to his room. Mom was still hugging me. I felt a feeling that made me feel safe. She probably activated her shield on both of us so that dad wouldn't hear our thoughts. "Listen sweetie, I felt exactly how you are feeling now when I was human. I didn't know my feelings for Jacob."

I looked up at her. "Jacob? But mom, you said you never saw Jake any more as a friend?" She pulled back. "I didn't. But when your dad left, all I had was Jacob. He made that hole in my chest go away. I didn't know what I felt. I didn't know if it was love. It was, but not the kind I was expecting. I just loved him as my best friend. That's the one thing that's different from this situation."

"What?" I asked. She took a deep breath. "You don't just love him, Renesmee. You are in love with him." I took a second to breathe. She was right. And that was all that matters. It didn't matter how many fights we got into, I would always be in love with him, and he would always be in love with me. "Thank you, mom. I love you so much." She smiled and hugged me tight. "I love you too, my little nudger."

We hugged for a very long time. Finally, I knew what I needed to do. She let go of me. "Go," she said. She smiled and dropped her shield as I went out the door. I ran to La Push, (hunted a little on the way so I wouldn't be as moody) and went to Jake's house. His door was locked, he wasn't answering any of my knocks or phone calls, so I had no choice but to smash the door down. He came down stairs. "What the heck Renesmee?" I came rushing towards him before I could even think. "IM SO SORRY JAKE. I SHOULDN'T HAVE YELLED AT YOU. IM SO-" I was balling. His arms were wrapped around me. He didn't say anything. We just stood there, hugging and me sobbing. I had to explain.

I explained why I didn't kiss him, what I was feeling, why I felt like all of his pain was my fault. He didn't say anything, just kept his arms around me. Finally, he spoke. "Renesmee, I don't care what you do, even if you kill Bella I will always love you." I didn't like the analogy he used there, but I dealt with it. All I cared about was this moment, hoping it would last forever.

"I want to be with you, Ness. Only you." I looked at him. "And I you," I said. I forced my lips onto his. It felt like a never ending cycle of electricity through my body. I couldn't feel, touch, or see anything, only him. He picked me up from my waist, but we were still kissing. I wrapped my legs around him. I felt like I was in a movie. Or one of those couples that people shout "relationship goals!" to. Only better. He cupped his hands on my face, because he knew I was strong enough to hold my self up. His hot skin warmed my whole body.

He let me down, but our lips were still locked. Good thing we didn't have to catch our breath for a long time. We let go of our lips and our heads were pressed together. "Let's go home," I insisted.

We walked home, and when we got there my parents were playing chess, their favorite game. They looked at us when we got in. Dad was staring, but mom was smiling. "Do you mind if Jacob stays the night? Don't worry dad, you can keep an eye on what we're thinking." He smiled. "Whatever Renesmee. But don't get into anymore trouble." He was right, I had gotten in a lot of trouble just in the past week.

We went to my room and we sat on my bed. We talked and played some games, we even did another contest to see who could get the bigger mountain lion. I won, of course. Finally, the day had ended and it was time for bed. He tucked me in and climbed in beside me. I asked to snuggle next to him, even though it was a stupid question and I was really embarrassed of it, but he said yes. He put an arm around me and I put my arms around him, laying on his chest.

We finally fell asleep after a long day. I wish this was every day with him. Wake up with him, spend the day with him, and go to sleep with him. He was all I needed. Suddenly all of those happy moments were lost out of my mind. I was standing in front of 10 different wolves. None of them seemed familiar to me. They stepped closer to me, but I backed away. I backed right into someone, and I looked back. It was Jacob. He had blood all over him, wearing bloody pants. I was about to touch him when I stopped to look at my arm. It had blood on it too. My whole body did. "Our kids are so beautiful," he said. I looked at the wolves. They growled, and took a leap right towards Jacob. I screamed for help as Jacob collapsed... "Ness?" I opened my eyes. I was breathing very heavily, and my throat burned. I must have been screaming.