Sixty Degrees (BoyxBoy)

Passion?

"What are you so afraid of?"

Levi looks up from his phone, a cigarette dangling from his lips as the cool night air grows more visible as it swirls in front of him. He smiles slightly, as if the question amuses him, of course it does anything but. The entire situation he's found himself in could not be further from amusing if it tried, but is he afraid? The mere act of being afraid is almost laughable these days, after everything he's been through, how would it ever benefit him to be afraid?

Mikasa and Hange sit in silence as he remains lost in thought, both know that no good will come of trying to rush him, his bad temper will come through and he will refuse to talk about anything. And though they almost count on him complaining about the amount of talking that has gone on between the three in the last few weeks, they all know that it's all doing them good. But he still shakes his head, takes a slow drag from his cigarette and lets out a low laugh.

"I'm not afraid."

"You know what he wants, right?" Mikasa asks her tone uncertain as she looks at her cousin.

He turns his head slightly to look at her in the dark. "Of course I do."

"Then what are you doing?" The concern in her dark eyes is clear even in the dim illumination created by the light posts dotting the campus in front of them.

"I'm not denying him because I want to, Mikasa. I don't want to be the bad guy, but I have no idea how to even start trying to fix things-,"

"And you do want to fix things?" She asks abruptly cutting off whatever he was going to say next.

His hard eyes stare at her as he tries to make sense of what she is really trying to ask him. He scoffs as he shakes his head slowly. "You make it sound like I'm some horrible person. As if I'm doing this just because I can."

"Honestly Levi, I don't know what I think anymore."

He looks away from her quickly so she doesn't see how much those words hurt him. He needs to act like this; he doesn't know what else to do.

~~.~~

He knows he shouldn't be doing it, knows that there are plenty of other ways to deal with this and yet this is the only thing he wants to do.

His mind is blank as he lifts his almost empty glass back up to his lips, staring around the half empty bar as the dark liquid slides down his throat. The people around him look laughably desperate as they try to catch the eye of anyone who happens to be looking their way. Levi's eyes scan the crowd, not looking for anything in particular, just looking, as he downs the rest of his drink and orders another. The bartender gives him a weary look that he ignores before pouring his requested liquor and hands it to him. Levi takes a sip immediately, his mouth quirks up into a slight smile as the numb lull begins to settle in his bones. He looks into the crowd again, almost laughing when a guy makes eye contact and winks, as if it would be that easy. His smirk grows as his eyes move on, bringing the glass to his lips once again.

He leans back in his stool slightly, his elbow resting on the bar behind him and stares at nothing, only interested in what's swirling around in his glass. He senses that someone has come over to him and shifts his glance sideways giving them an annoyed glance for interrupting his solitude.

"Hey," The guys greets, pulling out the seat next to Levi and sitting down without asking.

Levi only huffs, talking another sip and looks back out into the crowd not in the mood to entertain some random guy.

The guy angles his body towards Levi, trying to engage him in drunken conversation. "I've seen you around before, you come here often?"

He almost laughs at how routine the line sounds, though he's not in any mood to come up with any sarcastic retorts so he simple shrugs. "No."