You're Just A Daydream Away

Chapter 13

Dream

I was pushing a little girl, my daughter, around and around as fast as I could on the merry-go-round at the park.

She had golden hair and blue eyes. She was adorable. She was wearing a sundress and sandals. She had the most gorgeous laugh.

Suddenly, she stopped the merry-go-round with her feet and jumped off; running towards something or someone behind me.

That something was Niall.

"Daddy!" yelled the girl joyously as she ran into his arms. He lifted her up and held her on his hip.

Instead of joining them in their family moment like I should have, I casually waved and felt a pang of sadness. I couldn't pin point why I felt like that.

Then I saw a woman in the passenger seat of his car. She had shiny black hair and was gorgeous.

That's when it hit me: Niall and I weren't together anymore. We had a child together, and we had met at the park so he could pick her up for the weekend. And his new wife had come along.

Not only had I lost the love of my life, but we had to have a custody agreement for our daughter.

He placed her in her car seat in the back of his Mercedes. They drove off with out my daughter even waiving to me from the car.

Did she love Niall that much more that she didn't even care that she was leaving me? I felt sad and bitter.

Dream Over

I woke up with tears streaming down my face.

"Haley, we're about to go on!" Niall shouted at me from the doorway. That must be why I woke. And of course he didn't notice I was crying; and if he did he didn't ask about it. He's real sensitive. Can't you tell?

I wiped my eyes, removing the tears and smearing my makeup. I didn't want to bother Lou, she was always busiest right before a show, so I touched up my eye liner and mascara by myself. Obviously it didn't look as good as when she did it, but it would suffice. I straightened my outfit and walked out to join the crowd.

I wasn't exactly in the mood to stand in a sea of screaming girls, but it is what it is. I did my best to put on a smile and cheer on the boys so no one would suspect anything was wrong. Only Lord knows what rumors they'd come up with.

Finally the show ended. It felt like it dragged on forever. The boys really wanted to go out, but I wasn't up for it. I told Niall to go with them while I went to the hotel. I really just wanted to sleep and he'd have more fun out with the boys.

I went to the hotel and immediately collapsed in Niall'a bed when I got in his room.

I woke up to Niall crawling in bed beside me at 4am.

"Hey babe," I said to him to let him know I was awake.

"Fuck Hales. I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep," he replied. While he was talking, I noticed his breath smelled weird. I had a suspicion to what it smelled like, but I wasn't sure. So I kissed him to find out.

He started kissing back, and I could tell he wanted it to go further, but I stopped him right away. Yep, I was right about his breath.

"YOU WERE FUCKING SMOKING WEED?!" I yelled at him while throwing the blankets off me and standing up.

"What?"

"DON'T PLAY DUMB NIALL JAMES HORAN! I CAN SMELL THAT AND TASTE IT! YOU KNOW I HATE THAT SHIT!"

"Babe, I didn't smoke weed. I promise..." he said calmly.

"Fucking liar!" I yelled at him before storming out of the room.

I quickly made my way to Zayn's room and pounded loudly on his door. He opened the door and before he could even talk, I laid into him.

"How could you let him smoke dope? Why would you let him do that?"

"Haley, shit. What's going on?"

"I know he was smoking Zayn. How could you let that happen?"

"What'd you think, Hales? That I was gonna be here babysitting your boyfriend while you ran off and had your own life. Guess what? I have my own life too, and it doesn't involve watching over Niall 24/7."

"You're probably the one who gave it to him anyways! I bet you offered him a joint or something!"

"You're wrong. He offered it to me."

"I hate you, Zayn! You're such an ass!" I said then ran back to Niall and my room.

I stormed through the door and started going through all of his bags.

"What are you doing Haley?" Niall asked in a calm voice while placing a hand on my arm.

"WHERE IS IT?!"

"Where's what baby?"

"Stop! Stop it! Stop lying to me!"

"I'm not. Why don't you believe me?"

I found what I was looking for in his duffel bag. But he didn't know that yet. I stood up, holding the bag of weed in my hand.

"Why do you have this?" I asked softly, tears spilling from my eyes.

"Babe, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to find out, especially like this," he said in almost a whisper.

"So what you were just going to keep lying to me forever? Why would you do this?"

He explained that he had been stressed and freaked out lately, and that's why he had been smoking.

For most people, weed isn't considered a big deal, but for me it most certainly was.

When I was a junior in high school, I almost died from drug overdose. Zayn had gotten me into weed when I was a freshman and my drug use escalated quickly from there. It really is "the gateway drug."

After weed it was cocaine. After cocaine it was LCD, but I only did that once. I got hooked on heroin. I was at a big party that some kid from another school was throwing. I heard that a bunch of people were doing hard drugs in the bathroom so I went to check it out. I was expecting cocaine, but it was heroin. I had never done it before, but I was willing to try it out. I didn't think I would get addicted.

I shot up a few times that night. Then the next weekend. Then it became a thing I did during the week once in a while, too. Eventually it got to the point where I was shooting up in between classes.

I got all my heroin from one of my good friends that I trusted completely. He went out of town for a week once, so I bought a lot before he left. Unfortunately, what I got from him was gone in about three days.

When I ran out, I was desperate. I went to some random druggie at my school and begged him for what ever he had. He gave me what he had, but it wasn't just heroin. It was heroin laced with a bunch of other stuff, but I didn't know that.

I shot up in the bathroom in between classes. I remember shaking uncontrollably, sweating and being scared out of my mind. I guess I passed out, but I don't remember that. They told me a teacher saw me laying on the floor of the stall and tried to wake me up. When she couldn't, she called 911.

The hospital told me I would have died if that teacher didn't find me. I had symptoms of schizophrenia for about a year after that. It's since gone away, but I'll never touch drugs again in my life.

And I promised myself I wouldn't be with anyone who does drugs either.