You're Just A Daydream Away

Chapter 22

The last week has been a blur for me. Wake up, go to therapy, go to bed, repeat. That second step wouldn't even exist if Zayn wasn't basically forcing me to go.

There was the occasional phone call I would receive from my mum, Maura, and Greg among other people. All of which I sent straight to voicemail.

Today though, I had the sudden urge to do something. I got of bed on my own for once, got dressed, and went downstairs.

I went to the Starbucks in the lobby of the hotel. I ordered my usual and sat at a table in corner with a magazine.

For once, nobody was coming up to me asking for pictures or autographs. Is it possible that the boys' fans had gotten a bit more respectful?

I didn't want to go back up to my hotel room. I had been holed up in there long enough.

I threw away my empty cup, and left the hotel. Without even realizing it at first, I started to sprint down the sidewalk.

I couldn't stop running. My legs were carrying me faster than they ever had before. I wasn't even breaking a sweat.

Then I stopped. Right in front of Niall's and my flat complex.

I starred up at our window for a while before slowly walking through the doors and up the stairs until I got to the floor we live on.

I took a few deep breaths then walked through the door to our flat. I walked through the place in silence, afraid to make any noise. I knew this would be the last time I would ever step foot in here again. Even after Niall is found, I don't want to come back here. It's haunted by my memories of what happened that night.

I strode aimlessly around the kitchen and living room; laying a hand on a piece of furniture or a decoration now and then. When I got to the entrance of the baby's room, I started shaking. I forced myself to go in; this was something I needed to do.

I ran my hand over the wood of her crib. Yes it was a girl. I found that out when I was in the hospital after. Even though she was dead, they let me name her. I called her Skylar May. Skylar because it means sky, and that's where she is now. May just because it sounds wonderful with it. She is in a freezer right now, waiting for Niall to come back.

Her body didn't have any damage to it. The knife the killer used never hit my baby, but it cut off the tubes and stuff that supplied oxygen and what not to her. That's why she died.

I could've had her body either cremated or held a burial for her immediately, but I wanted to wait for Niall to come back. I already basically decided what I wanted to do about it, but I want him to see her before.

I lifted a teddy bear out of her crib. It was a special one we had made just for her. When you turn it on, it plays a recording of her heartbeat when she was inside of me. It's supposed to be comforting for newborns.

I held the bear close to my chest with my arms wrapped tightly around it. I didn't even want to go into my bedroom. I'm sure all the blood would be cleaned up by now, but I couldn't do it. I took the bear to the living room and sat down on the couch.

I thought maybe I would cry, but it seemed all the tears had been used up. I went to the bathroom and when I was washing my hands I noticed my engagement ring sitting on the counter by the sink. I always took it off and left it there every night when I went to bed. It hadn't even crossed my mind since that night. But I slipped it back on my finger, and it felt like maybe, just maybe everything would be okay.