A Break In The Silence (Adopted by Lin-Manuel Miranda)

Chapter 2: Let me help you.

I called and asked that they make my room a two-bed. I carry Gen into the hotel room, and I place her down on one of the beds. She's actually concerningly light; I gotta remember to get her some food tomorrow. I lay her down carefully, and she doesn't wake up. Which is good, I can tell she hasn't slept in a long time. I cover her with the comforter and then climb into my bed. I'm exhausted, and I fall asleep almost immediately.

****

"C'mon, c'mon. Stop it. Stop it, you weirdo, knock it off. You're so pathetic, Gen, cut it out."

I open my eyes and see the sun streaming through the curtains.

"Stop it, you freak. Just stop."

I turn on my back and look over at Gen. She has her knees pulled up to her chest, and her hands are in fists by her head. There's tears going down her face and she's quietly mumbling to herself.

"Gen, come on. Stop. He's gonna think you're a freak."

"Is calling yourself pathetic or a freak supposed to calm you down or something?" I ask her, and she jumps at the sound of my voice.

"Lin. Did i wake you? I'm really sorry, I didnt-"

"Woah, hey. Relax, it's okay." I say, sitting up. "You didn't wake me. Are you having a panic attack right now?" More tears fall from her eyes and she nods, and my heart breaks for her. "Come here." I say, and i hold my arms open. She looks at me for a moment, as if she's considering it, but then comes oer and sits down next to me, and lets me hug her. After a few moments of being in my arms, she wraps hers around me, and lets herself cry into my shoulder. "Shh, it's okay. Don't be scared, bello, it's okay." Bello means beautiful in spanish, and it's just a little name i figured might make her feel a little better.

"Lo siento, Lin. Estoy tratando de calmarse, lo prometo."
("I'm sorry, Lin. I'm trying to calm down, I promise.")

This surprises me a bit. I guess she speaks Spanish.

"Está bien, Genesis. Tómese su tiempo, no hay prisa."
("It's okay, Genesis. Take your time, there's no rush.")

"Me siento tan estúpida cuando tengo un ataque de pánico. Me siento patética."
("I just feel so stupid when I have a panic attack. I feel pathetic.")

"¿Por qué se sentiría estúpida, o patético? No hay nada malo en tener ellos."
("Why would you feel stupid, or pathetic? There's nothing wrong with having them.")

"Yo sólo los odio."
("I just hate them.")

I sigh.

"It's okay, Genesis. I dont want you to feel ashamed about having panic attacks."

"I know."

After a few minutes, I'm able to get her calmed down. She's slumped against me; she seems so small. She's so young, and she's already dealt with so much. This breaks my heart a bit, and I tighten my arms around her.

"It's gonna be okay, Genesis." I say. "I'll make things okay." She smiles slightly against my shoulder, and I look at the clock and see it's 9:25. "Hey, there's still an hour left of the breakfast buffet downstairs. Wanna go get some food?" I ask, pulling away to look at her. She nods, wiping her eyes.

****

I sit down at the table with a plate and see all Genesis grabbed was an apple.

"That's all your eating?" I ask, sitting down, and she gives me a look that I can only describe as thinking.

"Not very hungry." She replies, and i raise a brow.

"You're not?" She shakes her head.

"No." I sigh at this.

"Gen, can you please eat a little more than just an apple?"

"Two apples?"

I smile slightly, but shake my head. This whole situation is making me a little concerned; I'm not sure why.

"Eat some eggs or something." I say. "I'll get them for you." I go to get up, but she suddenly grabs my wrist. I stop and look at her, surprised by this sudden action.

"Lin, I..." She trails off.

"What's wrong?" She sighs.

"I don't eat, Lin." She replies. "My dad never lets me."

"So eat now."

"I kinda can't."

"Why?"

"I get sick when I eat. An apple is kind of all i can handle right now."

And then i realize. It's the worrying a I got when I carried her last night: Gen doesn't eat. But the worst part is that it isn't her fault. She didn't stop eating, she was starved. Her body got used to so little food and it now cant handle normal amounts of food.

"Work your way up." I say. "Start small. Eat 2 apples instead of one." She nods and starts eating her apple. Then I bring up a topic i really don't wanna bring up. "Gen, uh... i really don't want you to go back to your dad." She gives me a look.

"He's on a trip with his friends." She tells me. "Last night he told me to make sure i don't mess up the house while he was gone. I was in a bad mood and I kinda talked back a bit and said 'this isn't news, dad'. That was why he pulled me out of the car last night."

"Where is he going?"

"Vegas."

"How long will he be gone?" I ask. If she can stay with me for a while, I can help her as much as possible.

"Two weeks." She replies. "He'll probably stay longer though."

"You can stay with me for a while, if you want." I tell her, and her eyes widen.

"Lin, I can't-"

"Please, Gen." I say. "Let me help you. Please." She hesitates, but eventually nods.

"Okay." She replies, and I grin.