Taking Hits

Epilogue: What Else?

Troye held Connor through the night. He woke up first and watched the other boy breathing easily in and out until his eyes too started to flutter open. "Good morning, my savior," Troye whispered.

"Troye," Connor breathed, squeezing him tightly and looking at his face, then leaning his head back on the other boy's chest. "Oh, Troye," he repeated.

"How'd you sleep?" Troye murmured.

"Like a log." Troye ruffled his hair, and Connor raised his head again. He started playing with Troye's sweater, sliding his hand up and down it. "How are you feeling... today?" he managed.

"Better," Troye admitted. "Today feels like one of the better days." He smiled. They laid there content for a few minutes, but Connor still had one other thing on his mind that he just couldn't shake.

"Troye, I can't... I have to ask..." Connor started, and Troye stopped playing with his hair to listen. Con took a deep breath before continuing. "They said you were passed out drunk, yeah... but they also found something else in your blood... drugs and stuff..." He took another breath, this one shaky. "They told me there might have been traces of crystal meth in your veins, Troye..."

The other boy nodded slowly, averting his gaze. "Where did you even get that?" Connor choked out, his eyes starting to well up.

Troye shrugged. "If you really want something like meth... trust me, you can find it."

Connor was making a concerted effort to keep his breathing steady and calm. "What other drugs have you taken, Troye?" he asked in a small voice.

"Ecstasy..."

"What else?"

"I tried Coke once."

"And...?"

Troye shrugged. "That's it."

Connor grabbed a handful of Troye's shirt and fell back onto the boy's chest, shivering slightly. He didn't know what to do. He was terrified for Troye, for his best friend, his love. He wished to God that it was him instead. He would gladly go through all of this again if it meant Troye didn't have to.

Troye laid his hand on top of Connor's. "I'm sorry... I hate hurting you," he said in a low voice.

Connor looked up again. "No. Stop. It's not your fault, Troye. It's not. I know that."

Still, Troye looked away. "Why do you even want me, Con?"

Connor stared at him, dumbfounded by the question. "I love you, Troye," he said slowly, moving his face in front of the other boy's. "I would rather be right here, blue and miserable and depressed with you, than anywhere else without."

Troye shook his head and looked away again, staring off into space for a while. "There's one other thing I didn't mention," he said all of a sudden, looking back towards Connor. "Gets me higher than anything else."

Connor didn't want to hear any more of this, but he nodded reluctantly. "What's that?"

Troye touched Connor's face lightly. "You."

The other boy stared at him, eyes full of tears, and slowly lowered his face. He found Troye's lips and took them as his own. "I'd kiss you until forever ends," he whispered, reminiscing back to that time Troye had showed up at his apartment unannounced. "You know that."

"I know." Troye placed two fingers delicately up to his lover's lips. "And as long as you let me, my love... I'll keep taking hits."