3:08 PM
Thursday
August 11, 2016
I'm tired. Everything's been fine these past days until now. They treat me like a damned child just because I'm younger.
"Next time you go with Mom because I'm tired of you running with my grandma over there."
I go because I can't stay here and just suffer the pain you put my through.
"You understand?"
"..."
"You understand?!"
"Yes..." I whisper just audible.
Maybe I just shouldn't speak as much anymore.
Hell I'm to scared to even fucking talk back...
What do I do?
Am I suppose to do something?
Schools starting soon and I'm soon going to have to wake up early and all that shit...
I'm not sure if I'm going to even be able to talk to them anymore...
Why...
I just...
Want a happy ending...
Or at least a happy beginning and middle..
I just wanna feel genuinely happy for a whole day.
I don't wanna fake a smile.
I don't wanna fake happiness.
I don't wanna fake anything.
But I just can't help but fake everything.
I'm so frustrated and mad. I just can't help but wonder what life would be without depression.
I have to restrain myself from them.
I have to restrain myself from the knives that I stare at so intently.
I have to restrain myself from grabbing them.
I just have to restrain myself from my own damned death...
I want to meet them I really do but I'm not sure if I'm going to make it in time.
Help me.
Please.
I don't wanna suffer anymore...
All the pain and the misery inside is so hard to bottle it up
Do it for them
And I will do it again
I'll do it for them
For as long as I need to
A sigh is all that comes out...
'Thank you'
