Me And My Girlfriend.

30.

Today, August 25th, marks the day when 15 years ago, we lost a Legend, our Babygirl, our Queen, and The Princess of R&B. Gone so soon, but forever will not be forgotten. A bad chick, who never had to take her clothes off because she had actual talent. We love and miss you❤😓

Aaliyah.

My feet dangled over the abounded bridge while I sat close to the edge as tears streamed down my face. This was so unreal that I didn't know what to do and how to handle it. My fathers, and possibly mothers killer was now out, and I knew that I'd have to look over my shoulder every minute even seconds of the days as I feared he'd come get me back for revenge since that night when I shot him in his chest, nearly killing him like he almost killed me. Did I regret shooting him? Hell no. I was so young, put in a place where I had to survive and now I was an survivor in people's eyes who knew my story. Even my own.

Here I was, contemplating suicide and whether or not I should jump. Why would I kill myself? Its not the fact that I am scared of this man, its just the point that everyone around me could possibly get hurt, so why not end my life and save them all. I knew this man was going to do any and everything just to get his revenge on me. Although I knew what kind of people Pac had and I knew he'd have a plan for this, I still couldn't go through this all.

I also knew I couldn't jump, I had too much to live for. I knew everyone around me would be so hurt by the choice I made and what kind of stupid decision I done, but at this moment I couldn't care. I knew Tupac himself would be so destroyed because he gave me his all and trusted me even when he knew he couldn't, and we both connected and our vibes and feelings fot eachother were so real, and also the fact that we could get through stuff like this together because we knew eachother and everything we've been through.

But nobody could understand me and where I was coming from. I wasn't just hurt by both of my parents gone, I was way past hurt way before they died. It was so many things I had went through that made me hate them and wanted them to die on so many levels. To the days even years when my mother would go disappearing leaving me with my father and us to struggle because he didn't know how to raise a daughter a mother knew how to, to them having countless fights, sending me to live with my Aunt and Uncle on some days, maybe even the whole summer while they tried to work through whatever they was trying to get through, and the secrets they had, and the promises they broke. It was all too much, and at a early age I had tried to end my life so many times, I knew how and I also knew that nobody in my life would give a damn because I knew I was their perfect mistake and I knew that I, Aaliyah Dana Haughton was the reasons to their problems, or at least I was heard one day.

Standing up, I wiped the tears from my eyes and sighed. I closed my eyes to stop the hot salty tears from falling, but they couldn't. I opened them and looked down and into the water where I could see the moons reflection and the moving water as the wind blew roughly against my cold face. Sighing again, I started to speak.

"Why, why would you take them away from me?" I cried out. "I didn't deserve half the stuff I went through, but yet you let me go ahead and go through what I went through. The lose of my parents, to every hurt and pain I went through in my life up until I met the love of my life only to be once broken again because someone's back from revenge. I blame you for this hurt." I started to talk into the sky.

"I guess I'm just ready to stop hurting, and let this be the end of my life. I want to die." I cried as I step further to the edge. "Make sure everyone knows that I love them and that they weren't the reasons for my hurt, and me doing this wrong thing. Let him know that I always will love him, and that if I die today it would be okay if he moves on with his love life and not to do anything stupid. This is my goodbye."