The Blooming Flower (on hold)

Chapter 9

On Thursday, Allison awoke feeling anxious about the afternoon appointment at the adoption agency, her mind distracted from last night. That was a trivial concern compared to today. She had mixed feelings. The whole process would be stressful and overwhelming and she wasn't sure she really wanted to do it, but as she went through her morning routine, she realized it had to be done. She needed to get this adoption process started, but something inside her kept rejecting the idea of adoption and thinking about motherhood. Allison, for a split second, began to think that motherhood would be easier than adoption; no paper work, no applying for financial aid, no social worker, and certainly and most obvious, no meeting families who had the desire to take her baby away and raise him as her own. Allison felt tears prick in her eyes. She honestly really wanted to be a mother. But why? Yes, she'd already established the fact that she wanted to prove she was a better mother than her own mother, but she'd also come to the conclusion that putting her baby up for adoption was the best choice and how she was being a better mother than her own mother. She just needed to keep thinking that so she would know there was no reason for this burning desire to go unsatisfied. Also, her baby would not be completely out of her life; there would still be a relationship and one day when she and Todd were married, they would have another baby whom they would truly get to parent and raise.

Feeling better, Allison decided to go for a swim in the apartment public pool. It was very hot out today, almost ninety degrees. She really needed it. It would help her relax all the stress away. So, she changed into her yellow bikini and headed down to the local pool.

Although Allison knew the pool would be swamped with people due to the steaming hot weather, she wished she could have the pool to herself. She wanted to relax on a float and just clear her head. Ugh! But first she would jump right in to cool off. She felt disgustingly sweaty and it was starting to drive her insane.

Also, the reason why she wanted to be alone was because she was an introvert and didn't always like being surrounded by people. The harder and harder she sweat as she walked the more and more she began to not care.

As Allison neared the pool, she could hear the chatter of voices and splashing and saw the scatter of people in the pool. Some people were sitting in chairs, but very few since it was kind of physically impossible to tolerate that brutal sun beating down on you. Obviously they were just taking a momentary break. Yep, the pool was completely filled. Oh well, she'd just try and relax despite the noise going on around her. But first, she could hardly wait to feel her body enveloped in a cold, refreshing blanket of water. So, she headed over to the diving board. There was a line of course. She would dive off the side, but it wasn't allowed. Besides, even if it was there would probably be a line for that too. The whole apartment complex must have been down here or at least the people who didn't have to work. It was Thursday after all.

After what seemed like an eternity of waiting in the brutal sun, Allison was finally up to climb the ladder. She kicked off her flip-flops as she did not want to wait in that horrendous line barefoot. Her poor feet would have been blistered in a matter of seconds. The shock of the steaming sidewalk hit her feet. She gasped and quickly climbed the steps, which were a cooler temperature, slightly wet from damp feet. The anticipation grew as she climbed each step. Then, she was finally at the top. She dived right in and was greeted by the delicious, refreshing aqua blanket, as her body hit the water and suddenly the noise from above became muffled. She swam to the top, immediately feeling better. She swam further to the shallow end to make room for the next person to jump in. She enjoyed the water so much that she swam the morning away. Her rumbling stomach interrupted her and implied what time it was. So, she went back to her apartment and had some lunch. One hour before Todd would be home for the appointment at the adoption agency. Anxiety began to build up in her once more at the thought of it, but she watched some TV to get her mind off of it until Todd came home.